#Caffeine Powered
Leaked: ‘Assassin’s Creed: Origins’ is next game in series, set in Egypt
Hey, AssCreed fans! I heard you like boats! Well, motherfuckers, the next Assassin’s Creed, Assassin’s Creed: Origins, got some fucking boats, and is set in Egypt.
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Maybe: Sigourney Weaver’s role in ‘Defenders’ confirmed
Maybe. Confirmed. Welcome to the nightmare that is the Internet of 2017. But hey, fuck me for participating in it. But hey, I’m excited for Defenders so I’m gobbling up news pertaining to the show.
‘Overwatch is a billion-dollar franchise, I say g’damn
Overwatch. Probably not for me, but I respect that it’s dope-as-fuck. Many, many people respect this as well, since the is a billion-dollar franchise.
‘Hellboy’ R-Rated Reboot coming, starring David Harbour of ‘Stranger Things’
A Hellboy r-rated reboot is coming, folks. And it’s starring none other than Hopper from Stranger Things. I’m excited. Sure, sure, Ron Perlman was perfect as the Boy of Hell. But, but! If they have to recast, the curmudgeonly as fuck David Harbour is a perfect replacement.
‘Game of Thrones’ spin-offs in development at HBO, obviously
Go figure: HBO is exploring potential spin-offs for everyone’s favorite mediocre display of dragons, tits, and violence. Yup. That’s right. Fuck Winter. Game of Thrones spin-offs are coming.
‘Blade Runner 2049’ Trailer: I Can Only Make So Many
New Blade Runner 2049 trailer, yo! God damn, I need this movie. Truth be told, I bailed on the trailer about twenty seconds in. I want the experience to be fresh as fuck upon first viewing, and what I saw got me effectively hyped to know how badly this flick is going to rock my nads.
‘Wonder Woman’ Final Trailer: Rise Of The Warrior
Final Wonder Woman trailer is final. Here’s hoping the movie is as decent as the clips they’ve dropped, which I’ve enjoyed a moderate amount.
Weekend Open Bar: Draxx Them Sklounst!
I come to you, friends, from the Precipice of Doom. That’s right, I’m awaiting Bateman to pick me up in his charlatan chariot, and whisk me away to Montreal with the majority of OL for a Bachelor Weekend for a mutual friend. I come to, you, one Bateman-on-his-phone away-driving-100mph from the obliteration of Space-Ship Omega. I’m being dramatic, but I do anticipate witnessing some *shit* this weekend, the eye of a mellifluous maelstrom.
