#February2013
APPLE hit by same CHINESE HACKERS who attacked Facebook last week. It’s on!
Oh, you know there be some cyber warfare afoot. How do I know? You can riff its pungent scent among the air. It smells like generic tropes of nerdery, including Cheetos-stained fingers, heavy metal music, and most importantly Angelina Jolie. When will I disassociate her and Hackers from actual hacking? Never.
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Joss Whedon calls ‘S.H.I.E.L.D’ show ‘VERY HOPEFUL’, I fear a Skrull impersonator.
Joss Whedon has dared to call one of his shows “very hopeful”, inadvertantly exposing the fact that his existence has been taken over by a Skrull impersonator.
Dude turns entire LIVING ROOM into BATTLE OF HOTH diorama. Forceful++
Think you’re a hardcore Star Wars geek? Homeboy right here responds to such thoughts with a staunch “nay.” Behold the wonder of an entire living room turned into the Battle of Hoth.
Hit the jump to check out the wonder.
‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE’ had enough material cut to make six full games. Infinite indeed!
Now that I have finally expunged Dead Space 3 from my gaming gape, it is time for me to look forward to BioShock Infinite. Hopefully it’ll be everything that I hoped it will be. I cannot handle another gaming disappointment so soon, especially from a game that I have been anticipating for so long. One of the reasons my wait has apparently drawn on so interminably, however, is because the game itself has been generating massive amounts of content.
Monday Morning Commute: fast-food debauchery
Aloha! Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! What is it that I do here at the MMC? Well, first I gather up all of Spaceship OL’s passengers – nerd-culture slovens and amigos and infidels alike! Then, I show `em the various bits of art and trash and fast-food debauchery that I’ll be devourin’ during the course of the week. At this point, I deactivate the laser-shackles and let the wayfarers bludgeon one another with their prospective plans for destroying ennui and undermining workplace productivity.
It’s a thing of goddamn beauty.
C’mon, jump in and join the madness!
JOHN WILLIAMS wants to score new ‘STAR WARS’ trilogy. Giacchino weeps.
Johnny Williams is all up in the Star Wars news, announcing that he would like to score the new trilogy. Don’t you almost feel as though they have to let the dude indulge in one last Forceful dalliance? Meanwhile, Michael Giacchino was prepping for his moment in the SWU when he heard the news. Abrams’ fave soundtracking bro now stands alone in a field of sadness. Don’t despair, Giacchino! Maybe J.J. pulls a power move, instead awarding you the privilege. Who knows.
‘CLERKS 3’ is going to be an interactive book before its a movie. Or something.
Kevin Smith just sort of spouts-off, and the world listens. At this point, I don’t even feel like holding my former adolescent idol responsible. If Smith continually ruminates on ideas out loud, eventually the responsibility of realizing what he is doing should be thrust upon us. So is any of this Clerks 3-as-book nonsense real? Who knows. Just our boy K-Smitty, flapping his gums as usual. Spitballin’.
Bungie reveals ‘DESTINY’, sort of. Hope you like f**king concept art.
Bungie has like, sort of technically revealed Destiny. It is a reveal, if you consider dropping a lot of buzzwords, hype, promises, and concept art as a reveal. Which I sort of do. However, at this point in the fucking charade, I imagine the rest of the public wants something more substantial. Don’t get me wrong, it is sexy concept art. But I mean, it is ephemeral as fuck. After years of murmurings, the company behind Halo sated its public with more morsels than anything else. C’mon Bungie. I want to be excited about your game. Throw me something concrete.
WII U sales collapse in JANUARY, everyone cackle and point.
If the reports are true, the Wii U’s January sales were worse than any month in in either the Xbox 360 or PS3 lifespan. But! But! But! You can hold an enormous tablet! It serves as a second screen! Wee! Goddamn, I am glad that not many people are running out to gobble up this uninspired nonsense. Of course, I am glad while silently acknowledging that some Miyamoto magic will inevitably draw the system into my house.
Is BLACK CAT in ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2’? If it is Felicity Jones, please yes.
Felicity Jones is a very pretty lady. Latex is like, tots my favorite fetish. Should Marc Webb bring Miss Jones and latex together in the form of Black Cat, he can have my first child. Wait, the Mrs. is saying that isn’t cool. He can have his choice of sock from my collection. They all contain many of my children.
