#February2013
Coco Brown is going to be the first PORN STAR in space. Humanity continues to excel.
Frankly, I’m surprised that we haven’t sent a porn star into space yet. I can’t figure out a group of people who have entertained more of the masses than the porn community, and the least we can do as a collective is let one of them gape upon (heh) the Blue Marble from afar.
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‘STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS’ Super Bowl Trailer: Erf is totally ruined, and that is awesome.
Hey. This trailer was posted last night during Ray Lewis’ Sermon or whatever. It’s pretty neat. Let’s talk about it.
Rumor: “PLANET HULK” key part of Marvel’s Phase Three movie plans.
The latest rumor birds are barfing up thrice-chewed reports that Marvel’s PHAZE 3 movie plans are going to contain nothing less than Planet Hulk. I don’t know, yo. This would be particularly audacious (and awesome), so color me skeptical they’re going to aim this high. Here is hoping I am wrong.
Dean Norris: Final ‘BREAKING BAD’ episodes are “Hank-centric.” Yeah, buddy.
The man who plays Hank Schrader on Breaking Bad has greased up his fingies, and decided to milk our nerd glands. The good sir has dropped a couple of comments regarding the (best) show. If you haven’t seen the first half of season five, don’t be read anything after the jump. Instead, get your life in order and start watching this fucking show.
‘COMMUNITY’ SEASON FOUR Trailer: Glory be, it is almost back.
If it wasn’t for our own Nico The Internet, I would have completely forgotten that this week marks the return of Community. Stupidity corrected, I eagerly anticipate returning to this beloved little meta-mad community college.
Press Start: Of Monkeys and THE MAN
This week’s pressing questions in gaming are:
Why don’t more women play games? Probably doing something productive whilst I jerk it to polygons.
Why did they delay GTA V and does this somehow relate to rumoured plans for Rockstar to form a Bioshock-esque rogue state?
Just how powerful is the new Playstation going to be and is it going to include the Fleshlight extension that I’ve been petitioning for some months now?
BOWSER is PEACHY [Inky Charland]
Need that perfect Valentine’s Day gift? How about matching Bowser and Peach tattoos. Fellas, nothing says I love you like ghosts, fireballs, and castles. Ladies, there’s nothing that gets out fires lit like old 8-bit nostalgia.
‘IRON MAN 3′ SUPER BOWL TRAILER: Tony gotta catch ’em all.
It looks like Tony has got to collect a fair amount of free-falling bodies in Iron Man 3. Can’t help but bask in the Superman overtones. What did you folks think of the spot?
Monday Morning Commute: In space, no one can hear you moan.
Now begins the dark age, when the football fiasco pop-culture zeitgeist begins to slumber until September. Without any weekly caloric-crushing, fantasy football fist-pumping, the average male wanders around lost. Not me. No way. Thanks to the courtesies extended by the various arts that I indulge in on a weekly basis. This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we gather to discuss these interests. Look at that fucking segue, and fondle me. As you do so, I’ll pat you gently and caress your soft face. We are in this together.
Largest solar sail, ‘SUNJAMMER’ setting out into space in 2014. FLY FREE, FRIEND.
All I know about solar sails comes from Arthur C. Clarke, but most importantly – from Count Dookie or whatever from Attack on My Childhood: Episode 99. Motherfucker all flies away after hacking off Emo Hitler’s arm, utilizing some sort of sailing device. Uh. Anyways, we have them as well, I guess. And a massive one is setting out in 2014, probably to hunt down Count Dookie and slay the living shit out of him.
