#January2013
Astronauts in deep space could face accelerated Alzheimer’s disease. Woof ++
I guess I should reconsider packing my bags and stowing away on the top secret Illuminati flights to Mars. Some of our science-wizardros have proclaimed that astronauts ravishing the deep space solar winds may actually be subject to accelerated Alzheimer’s disease. Not cool, man. Not cool!
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JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT in contention for ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ lead. Batman goes galactic.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the New Black when it comes to being at the center of comic book rumors. It’s rumored the duder is going to be The Bats in the Justice League movie. It’s rumored that in this movie he has two dongs, one which shoots raw cookie dough. Now, it’s rumored he may be crossing the line from DC and into Marvel movie madness. If this rumor holds true (and let me tell you I don’t think it will), Batman will be going galactic very soon.
Cosplay: Mary Jane x Spider-Man’s suit = latex swoon.
Glory, glory, glory be to the combination of Mary Jane Watson and latex.
Super rare original XBOX is gnarly swag, and can be yours!
Goddamn, the original Xbox was a garish piece of bloat. Even this super rare collector’s edition version of the system is nasty. Don’t take too much offense, Xbox. I loved you. Well, sort of. I played a lot of Halo on you, and that has to count for something. Though, if I’m being truthful I never thought your predecessor would be one of my favorite systems of all time, but the Universe is tricky! I digress. Here is a ridiculous collector’s item. Go. Buy it. Mail it to me.
Robbers snagged over $1 MILLION worth of gear from Apple store on NYE.
This is a hell of a plan. Swoop into a store during a ruckus-filled evening and snag you know, a considerable amount of Apple swag. To the tune of like, you know, $1 million dollars. Even in this time of inflation, that is a lot of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers.
JAY-Z composing original soundtrack for ‘THE GREAT GATSBY.’ 2013 sucks.
Eddie Pluto kicked off 2013 by bringing this dollop of shit to my attention. I could hear his raspy cackle in my mind as I read through the news, all the while knowing my rage would feed his blackened heart. Fuck. You know, there was a point where I was really excited for the film adaptation of The Great Gatsby. Then there was the period of Hulkian rage when I was exposed to the horrendous trailer. Now? Now I’m just going to buckle-up and try and enjoy the nightmare.
