This is a video of a propane-powered NERF dart cannon. Powerful enough to dent a motherfucking whiteboard. Why? ‘Cause this is America and we love freedom.

Hit the jump. Bask in the glory.

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David Mazzucchelli is the artist behind the seminal Batman: Year One, and he has a message for you. Don’t fucking buy the latest DC reprint. He’s got his reasons, and I respect the dude. I mean, c’mon. He’s David fucking  Mazzucchelli.

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Well hey good morning! Wash it down with this. Cowabunga, bitches! (Get it, pun? Eh forget it!)

[Via]

I’ll never forget the night I fucked Miss Americana 1973.

We’d met earlier in the evening for some casual drinks. Sitting in the Holo-Lounge, we ran a huge tab and sparred with one another. We both pulled punches, knowing that the other was far too vulnerable to be dealt a true blow. She was as defenseless against my clever quips as I was against her cheekbones   and ass. Oh boy, was I defenseless when I was against her ass!

Anyways, banging a supermodel in a space station hotel suite is hardly an event worthy of a bedpost-notching. Hell, the name R. Frankenstein isn’t on three different brands of jetpack-vibrators because my stinky-little-peenie hasn’t gone off-planet. No, I’ll never forget my sexual encounter with Miss Americana 1973 because of what she gave me.

My first LSTD experience.

She had just climaxed, yanking out a clump of my hair and pouring a bottle of Pepsi on my belly (per my request) when I started to feel…off. At first I chalked up the tingling at the back of my head to either coital-bliss or an impending tumor. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling persisted. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling grew stronger. So I kept feebly thrusting. And the tingling turned into music.

And then the walls began melting and Roger Rabbit materialized so that he could tickle my ass and Miss Americana 1973 metamorphosed into a squid-creature that would’ve made even the likes of Lovecraft squirm and cry like a babby and then I began to cum but my dick shot out staples instead of ejaculate but I felt no pain only the wonder of producing steel from my sexual reproductive organ and I had to apologize to my squid-lover of the evening because I had shot staples all over his back but I made sure to clean them up with a rainbow.

When I awoke the next morning, Miss Americana 1973 was nowhere to be found. It seemed that I was completely alone in the suite. But then I closed my eyes and I saw that I had visitors – the spellbinding memories from the night before.

The remembrances of my first sexually-transmitted hallucinogenic experience.

–-

Hello to all of you – the heroes, bombshells, brats, nerds, Capitalist-hating-Commies, stuntmen, nurses, Commie-hating-Capitalists, post-modern Romantics – that visit Omega-Level? Thissere’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, your spot for sharing the various means by which you’ll survive the workweek. Hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be reading, watching, playing, eating, or listening to this week.

It’s internet show-and-tell at its most dastardly.

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Captain Marvel is debuting in Justice League #7, and he’s going to finally be called what we’ve all mistakenly referred to him as for years: Shazam! Check out what Geoff Johns has to say about the character, and dig on his totally brooding first look.

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Yeah, I don’t care about The Simpsons, but I’m a gluttonous douche for anything that can stoke my Throner.

Hit the jump for the parody.

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Swag on out with the Collector’s Edition of Darksiders II. Per the usual excessiveness that comes with a CE, you can get an art book, sound track and more. Apocalypse baller status, yo!

Hit the jump for a peek into the glory.

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Brian Wood’s next magnum opus is The Massive.  Rafael Grampa is a favorite artist of us here at OL. Combining the two of them together in a variant cover for the debut issue is almost too much.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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What the fuck are we doing here? We’re engineering our own destruction. DARPA is pretty good at building death machines with my tax money, and their latest is goddamn terrifying. The DARPA Cheetah, a dog-looking robot that can run 18 mph. Don’t even both running when the RoboPocalypse hits.

Hit the jump to see your doom in motion.

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Confession time: I couldn’t sleep last night. More specifically, I couldn’t sleep last night because Mass Effect 3  is coming out tonight.

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