Don’t let the fact that in Assassin’s Creed III  you’re controlling the byproduct of brutal colonization stop you from enjoying the America-Boner slop Ubisoft is rolling out in their various editions of the game. They’re going full Jingo in these babies, which should be made clear from the names of them alone.

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Finally some technology we can believe in. Drones are best known for being used to blow people up with uncomfortable amounts of clinical disinterest and detachment. However there’s a collection of solid dudes who want to add to that reputation. They want to use drones to deliver tacos. This is the future I asked for.

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Absolutely! Ridley Scott and your company of Advertising Wizards please feel free to continue slowly rolling out the glory that is Prometheus  information. In this new TV spot  Noomi Rapace gets totally hot and heavy with a beau while Charlize Theron is all “we’re all going to die, #buzzkill, #buzzkill”. Whatever the case, it’s more goddamn awesomeness. Check it out after the break.

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GameStop is declaring April 2, 2012 as the day they stop accepting GameCubes for trade-in. It blew my asshole sky high to know that they even accepted them up until now. G’damn! What they throwing at these things, thirty-cents?

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Oh hell yeah! Someone has delved into the Nethers and uncorked the Avengers  Hype Machine. It’s showering us with promotional images, though most of them are just the gorgeous crew looking gorgeous if not a bit angsty. This newest batch is more of the same, with a bit of a Black Window push-up bra stylee.

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James Cameron don’t give no fucks about a variety of things, including character depth, being condemned for postulating the typical idea that a white man has to save the savages from themselves, titties on Titanics, and more.  He also doesn’t give a fuck about the ocean, ’cause he’s gone and conquered it.

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Neil deGrasse is the fucking man. An adorable teddy bear of astrophysical wundery and brilliance. Not only that, but the guy has a hell of a sense of humor. In this video he reacts to his status as a prominent meme, and does so with all the charm and charisma you come to expect from the guy.

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Taking my nascent career in journalism seriously, I wanted to report some experiences in my life until I either get sued or I get blackballed for being “press”; whichever comes first. In my first expedition, I serve up a behind the scenes look at Rapper/Actor Common’s private 40th birthday party, celebrated in Park City, Utah two weeks ago. I was there, and so were you, right after the jump.

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It’s been an excruciatingly long wait, but Game of Thrones will be back in a week, on April 1. Over the last few months, HBO has been slowly rolling out the goods, with new pics, teasers, and full-fledged trailers–all done for the noble purpose of getting the fans more and more jazzed about the coming winter in Westeros. Now, as the show draws overwhelmingly close, the channel has one last promotional peak for us before our eyes are blinded by the brilliant fantasy panorama. Take a look after the jump.

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It’s a well-known fact in the animal kingdom that, when it comes to taking care of business, otters are swagtastic. They are masters at a myriad of awesome feats, like holding hands with attractive counterparts and cracking open clams on their bellies. You know, things that a person like me wishes he could do on a daily basis. And it turns out I am not the only one who is envious of otter supremacy. There is now proof that Sherlock‘s Benedict Cumberbatch has been stealing their swag for a while, and otters are calling him out for his thievery. Check it out after the jump.

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