#July2011
In The DC Relaunch, Superman Is A Single, Flightless Orphan. Frown!
It seems that DC is going all out in their shaking up of Superman’s mythos for the DC Relaunch. The Clark Kent we’re getting in September is going to be markedly different than the one we get right now. Kent is going to be an orphan twice-over who initially can’t fly, and isn’t tapping any Lane booty. Dude’s sufferin’.
Also interesting is that the Superman titles will be taking place in different points in time.
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Here’s The Official Release Of The Teaser For ‘The Dark Knight Rises’.
When I went to see Harry Potter, I thought that I was just as excited to see the trailer for TDKR. Some sort of conspiring Universal force broke the fucking projector, and the only preview I saw was Sherlock Holmes. So here’s my chance, and yours too! to catch an official copy of the trailer.
Face of a Franchise: Izzza Mario!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
One of the most celebrated rites of passage in the Nerd Realm is engaging in the Greatest Hero debate. Would Luke Skywalker’s Jedi powers confound John McClane, or would he manage to best Tattooine’s favorite farmboy even after getting an arm chopped off? How fast can Neo read universal code if Professor X is mind-molesting him? Can Wolverine’s healing factor work quickly enough to thwart off the three-count after Hogan delivers the atomic leg drop?
Fun questions to ask, no doubt. But only in a purely academic sense. Because, if you really think about it, everyone knows who our generation’s greatest hero is.
Super Mario.
I can’t even begin to think of a hero that’s done more than Mario. Every few years he hunts down a dinosaur, beats the shit out of him, and then brings his girlfriend home to bang her out. Oh, and by the way, she’s a princess – so you know she’s packing a high-quality rump-roast. When he’s not out hunting prehistoric menaces, Mario finds enjoyment in high-octane deathraces. He gets his broke-ass brother jobs. Oh, and the muthafuggah’s got a PhD.
With such crazy credentials, it stands to reason that it takes a real boss to portray Mario. Luckily for us, we’ve been graced with performances by two absolute masters. The only problem lies in determining who did the better job.
Friday Brew Review – iniquity (Imperial Black Ale)
It’s my pleasure to inform the faithful OL readership that the FRIDAY BREW REVIEW has been generating a lot more traffic lately. Some of these new visitors may be arriving via word-of-mouth, the pleasant words you share about a weekly-drunkard’s semi-coherent review acting as safe passage. Others are being transported here by means of Internetdimensional-portals, such as that provided by the (fabulous) Reddit beer community. And still others, well, I suspect they’re here because it was the closest place they could find after escaping that hitchhiker who promised a blowjob but offered only a knife-wound. How rude.
No matter how you’ve arrived – welcome.
Before we go any further, baby, allow me to offer a warning to the uninitiated: what follows is certainly a beer review. But the Friday Brew Review is also part diatribe, short story, philosophical meandering, science fiction journey, and drunken affirmation.
Please proceed without caution.
New Cast Poster For ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’. It Looms! It Looms.
With only a week left until super soldier eerily Aryan looking yet fighting Nazis wunderchild Steve Rogers debuts on the big screen, there’s a new cast poster to chew on to kill the time. Chew it! Chew it up. Swine.
‘Link To The Past’ Is Way Better With A Portal Gun. Way Better.
Link to the Past. A safe go-to game when you feel like drunkenly debating what the best game of all time is with your friends. Dorkly has taken the classic game and imagined what it would be like with a fucking Portal gun. Answer: outstanding.
Hit the jump for the video.
The Moon Goes Rainbow In Sexy Surface Study.
You may think that the Moon is some boring ass rock lingering above us. Threatening to smash us down like innocent whelps as though we were living in Majora’s Mask. You’d be wrong! There’s a lot of shenanigans populating the Moon’s surface. This colorized NASA image shows the differences in surface composition.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT. 2, YA’LL!
Just over the past two months or so, I caught up with all the Harry Potter films. They’re pretty fun, the mythology is interesting, and I can see how it has a deep cult following. Plus, the Hogwart’s ride at Universal Studios is the most insane attraction I’ve ever experienced. The whole shebang came to an end last night with the eighth and final film in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.2. It’s a solid and touching end to a series that started a decade ago with the innocence of The Sorcerer’s Stone. Judging by the amount of sniffling coming from cosplay attendees in my theater last night, I’d say it satisfied the diehards as well as the laymen.
Marvel Set To Announce New ‘Defenders’ Comic At Comic-Con.
Marvel’s been dropping teasers images this week. The teasers which feature the outlines of the Red Hulk, Silver Surfer, Iron Fist, and Dr. Strange were all filled with words pertaining to the character and the tagline “It’s either in you or not”. Just what could that mean? Bleeding Cool has cracked the code.
New Hi-Res Pictures From ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Article In EW.
When it rains hi-res pictures it fucking pours them. Following up some hi-res goodies from ‘The Hobbit’ today comes a blow-out of pictures from the Amazing Spider-Man. Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly! Who in exchange for quality exclusives like this sucks on the cock of every awful and mediocre blockbuster ever it seems.
Whatever! Anyways!
