[caution: the following post is a narrative analysis of BLACK SWAN. as such, it’s filled with spoilers, half-baked jib-jab, and words that even a thesaurus shouldn’t contain. proceed at your own risk]

Walking out of Black Swan, I knew that I was impressed. The one hundred and three minutes of celluloid that had just flashed before me were not only visually appealing (and I’ll be goddamned if you don’t think it’s eye-candy) but bursting at the thematic seams.

It’s a layered work – an adaptation of Swan Lake in which a ballet company reimagines Swan Lake. Yes, that’s right. There’s sexual tension, the tug-and-pull between repression and reckless liberation. Body image issues arise, as self-mutilation and bulimia make both subtle and palpable appearances. And for good measure, a heaping of parental expectation is thrown in, reminding the audience that even the most brilliant of feats can lose their shimmer when serving as vicarious fulfillment.

It’s all in Black Swan. All that and more, in fact. But what struck me as most compelling about Aronofsky’s fifth feature is that it serves as a warning to those in pursuit of a goal. No, I don’t think Black Swan is telling the audience to relish in apathy, aspiring for nothing and thereby achieving everything desired. But I do think that the movie is pursing its lips next to the ear of the aspirant individual, whispering, “Look at yourself — is this what you want?”

Because without even knowing it, even the purest of feather can become sullied and despoiled.

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OH FUCK YEAH, the Spike VGAs just officially became relevant to me. Fucking Mass Effect 3 fucking trailer was dropped. Holy shit and a bag of hard tits. Shepard   has to save Earth. We knew that yesterday. But still. Someone has to save my pants. I’m flooding them with piss and splooge and goop. I’m dehydrated but loving life.

Hit the jump for the fucking trailer.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

How does it feel to be abandoned by those once thought of as family? What life can be led when the shadow of death looms overhead? Is losing all purpose liberating, allowing an individual to take chances otherwise thought foolish? Just how much would it suck to be an old dude in a Viking village?

These are the questions raised in Northlanders: The Girl in the Ice.

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Marvel finally released the Thor trailer. I think it’s fucking awesome. Epic viking and fantasy shit! Stupendous. I’m hoping that this movie can bring the wonder back to superhero flicks. At the very least, the trailer wins my loins’ approval. It’s two minutes of a sexy bearded dude swinging a hammer, fighting gods, and cuddling up to gorgeous Natalie Portman.

I’m sold. Hit the jump, watch the trailer, and then leave your impressions in the comments box.

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The plot for Mass Effect 3 leaked today. Maybe. Probably. There’s a good chance it’s legit. It comes from the listing of Mass Effect 3 on the EA online store. Want to hear it? Well, it’s why you’re here, isn’t it?

Earth is burning. Striking from beyond known space, a race of terrifying machines have begun their destruction of the human race. As Commander Shepard, an Alliance Marine, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of the galaxy and launch one final mission to take back the Earth

Fucking rad. It’s about time that they finally let us motherfucking cosmos-hoppers return to where we all began. It makes sense to pin the final chapter of the first Mass Effect trilogy squarely to the one, most important planet they haven’t let us see yet.

I need this game. I need it now.

Via.

I am but a mortal man this morning. Typically, before conjuring the demons through the phalanges, I take a ritualistic trip. To my favorite distributor of caffeine: the 7-Eleven. My car in the shop, surely being fucked by   mechanical gurus, I am stuck at home. Without the energy drink. I am marooned. The voices are not speaking to me. The eyes of God obscured. Nonetheless, this is Press Start! The gaming column where I recount the five things that caught my eyes this week. The list isn’t indicative of importance, and I encourage you to share in the comments box.

Sharing is caring.

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#1: EA Boss: Single-Player Only Games Are Finished.
Look at the image above. Gaze deep into the abyss behind the eyes. His name is Frank Gibeau. And according to your perspective, he may be either the devil, or simply the man willing to speak the truth. Sounding off in an article over at IGN, Gibeua made the proclamation, “I firmly believe that the way the products we have are going they, need to be connected online. Multiplayer is one form of that.” Translation: stop complaining about us shoehorning multiplayer into your beloved games. ‘Cause it isn’t going anywhere, you griping pig fuckers.

I’m still trying to figure out if hes the devil, or simple astute.

I fucking hate how everything is getting a multiplayer stapled onto it. The latest casualty is Mass Effect 3, which is going to see multiplayer shoved into it. Unwelcome penetration. It makes sense though, since BioWare is owned by EA. Everything is connected!

It makes too much business sense to not throw multiplayer into everything. If you share my sentimnent, you’re out of luck. The unwashed masses are clamoring for it. They beg for the ability to shoot people in any setting. With this knowledge in hand, the talking heads will see fit that games like Dead Space and Mass Effect will get stuffed down the gullet with multiplayer.

He is an astute devil.

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#2: You Can Buy A Nintendo Guitar. Excessive Nerdosity.
Oh hell yeah! Would there be a better way to complete the heavy metal dork tribute to Dimebag than to drop some Sandblasted Skin across the frets of a guitar built from an original Nintendo? The mind boggles. It’s well accepted that the Dorks and Heavy Metal Meat Heads (I am both, so don’t complain) ovals overlap big time on a venn diagram. Now it’s time to just take it one step closer towards being official. The chaps at GetLoFi will sell you one of these beasts for $150 Imperial credits.

Go on, buy it. Can you really put a price on your dorky awesomeness?

Speaking of awesome constructs: Kinect hack brings self-aware flying machine. Fucking righteous.

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#:3 Japanese Virtual Sex Club Lets You Buy Porn Stars, Dildos, Spatulas.
I am constantly amazed at the lengths to which people will go to rocket an orgasm throughout their synapses. People are ridiculous. This musing usually comes as I have an elastic band around my testicles, hanging from the hooks connected from my back to the ceiling. But still. We have to have some standards, right?

Gaming developer DMM.com has revealed the game, “Virtual Sex Club”, and isn’t that a hell of a title? You pay a monthly fee, which affords you 30,000 gold. With this gold, you can go about buying various things. Porn stars, sex toys, even sexual positions. Your gold runs out really fucking fast, which is obvious because you can spend it on everything, up to minutiae like the color of your virtual fuck’s nails.

There’s sexual objectification, and then there’s this. Sweaty hands clicking across mouses, manipulating cursors. Perfecting their virtual fuck.

Now, the moment we can vat grow mindless male and female automatons that are built to our specifications for our fuckery, wake me up. They’ll last a specified amount of time, before evaporating into a cloud, their vat-flesh only a temporary construct. But sadly my future has not arrived yet, and I’m stuck to buying spatulas and banana-shaped dildos instead.

If this Japanese amazement isn’t your speed, you can also buy the game where you slap bugs off your date’s tits to “protect her”.

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A good friend of mine has pointed me towards two stories this week. First the Arkham City reveal, and now this one. Kudos, cheers, and may someone kindly rub your genitals. Remember the BioWare teaser we were all speculating about? First it was reported that it was an off-shoot Mass Effect game. Now it’s been “confirmed” by nebulous dark sources that it’s actually Mass Effect 3 with multiplayer.

1up:

So just what exactly has BioWare been teasing to reveal at the Spike TV VGAs for the last couple of weeks? Would you believe it is, after all, Mass Effect 3? Joystiq reports that a “trusted source” has informed them the mystery game, first teased with the single image above, will indeed be the final chapter in the Mass Effect trilogy.

What’s more, this source says Mass Effect 3 will feature some kind of multiplayer mode, a first for the series. What this source couldn’t confirm, though, is whether the VGA reveal will highlight the multiplayer or not.

Thoughts? Reactions? I couldn’t give less of a shit about a multiplayer aspect for the Mass Effect franchise. Completely understand why it makes sense from a business standpoint. But still, don’t give a shit. Hit the comments box with your take.

Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays is a (theoretically) weekly column where I show you my worlds. Share your own in the comments section!

My computer background this week is by my good friend Brian Galiano. The man himself is illustrating every chapter of DEFEAT, the novel that my younger brother is currently posting. The two of them are doing a bang-up job, and if you haven’t started reading DEFEAT, I implore you.

Galiano is, like many people, a lad without an appropriate amount of self-esteem. Some people have too much, some people have too little. My friend has too little. It’s good to see him expressing his creative talents every week, and it’s even greater to see how every illustration is trouncing the previous.

I’ll level with you- I almost forgot about this post. I was going about my nightly business, when I recalled I still owed it to the site. By nightly business, I mean eating a handful of Chez-Its, sending their crumbs everywhere as I walk through the house. Planning a shower. Sitting down with some funny books. But here I am.

You caught me.

I decided just to capture my desktop as it stood when I realized I had completely forgotten you. Well, here it is. I hope your evening is going well enough, and the cosmos is favoring you to your liking.

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Want more official Uncharted 3 screens? Including placeholder box art? Of course you do. Hit the jump, and indulge. You’re welcome.

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If the Thor movie is anything like this poster for it, we’re in good shape. Sometimes when browsing through the promotional material, Thor looks so fucking awesome and his outfit gets me fucking jacked. And then sometimes it looks plastic-y and something you buy at the Big Party.

They crank it out of the park for this poster. Sure it’s photoshopped to hell and everything, et cetera. It’s still swank.

Hit the jump for the full beast.

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