What we know about the Xbox One: no backwards compatability. Used games…for a fee. And it ain’t always on.
Hit the jump for deets.
New XBOX is called XBOX ONE, will do stuff.
May 21st, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
Hey look at it. [Will be updating throughout the day.]
LEAKED MICROSOFT MEMO: Next XBOX to feature OFFLINE GAMING. Errbody calm down.
May 6th, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
Ha! Suck it haters! Yeah, I’m talking to you! And you! And you! And Jesus Christ, pretty much every body I’m friends with. A leaked Microsoft memo confirms (confirms?) that the next Xbox will have core features that work offline. Namely, single-player gaming.
NEXT XBOX being revealed on MAY 21. BALLMER SNORTING COKE, JACKED ALREADY.
April 24th, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
The Next Xbox is being revealed on May 21. There are unconfirmed reports I’m going to dress up like Bill Gates and jack off into a blender filled with Xbox hardware. As I watch, it’ll hurl tech-shrapnel deep into my guts. I will orgasm.
Microsoft’s CREATIVE DIRECTOR that tweeted ALWAYS-ON HATE is fired.
April 10th, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
What a shocker. A Microsoft employee who literally spread his ass cheeks and shat upon potential customers worried about the Durascal 720′s always-on policy has gotten nixed. What a dumb fuck.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.
January 31st, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
‘DEAD SPACE 3′ features N7 ARMOR and microstransactions. Win some, lose some.
January 22nd, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
Rumor: These are the NEXT XBOX specs. Maybe. Hell if I know.
January 21st, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
Super rare original XBOX is gnarly swag, and can be yours!
January 2nd, 2013 by Caffeine Powered
Goddamn, the original Xbox was a garish piece of bloat. Even this super rare collector’s edition version of the system is nasty. Don’t take too much offense, Xbox. I loved you. Well, sort of. I played a lot of Halo on you, and that has to count for something. Though, if I’m being truthful I never thought your predecessor would be one of my favorite systems of all time, but the Universe is tricky! I digress. Here is a ridiculous collector’s item. Go. Buy it. Mail it to me.
Watch: First FIVE MINUTES of ‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE.’ Do you dare?
December 19th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
I’m not watching this. However, I’m presenting you with the opportunity. Do you dare to spoil?
