Welcome to Press Start! It’s a column about my intense self-loathing, eating and masturbatory habits, cleverly disguised as a week in the events of video game culture. Come on in.
Cosplay: Aela The Huntress from ‘SKYRIM’ is warmth in the tundra.
November 29th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
This, this is the goodness right here. As the frost covers the ground, just imagine this wonderful lass keeping you company.
‘SKYRIM’ DRAGONBORN DLC Trailer: Remember this game?
November 5th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Whassup with Bethesda, man? When Fallout 3 dropped, they unleashed a torrent of solid DLC. Skyrim? Different story. Here is the trailer for the Dragonborn DLC, but with it dropping nearly a year later, how many of you fools are enticed?
Press Start: Kevin kills kittens for kicks
October 7th, 2012 by The Faux Bot
Sometimes it’s quite difficult to come up with amusing and witty quips for these intros. Well, it is if you’re me, anyway. So, in the absence of comedy and wit, here are some suggestions for amusing accents that you can use whilst you read this week’s Press Start in your head:
-Stoic Japanese Samurai
-Hollering Redneck
-Swedish Chef
- Disgruntled Pierce Brosnan
- Aroused Patrick Stewart
Now, on with the video games.
Skyrim ‘HEARTHFIRE’ DLC drops next week, letting you get all nesting instinct.
August 28th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Here’s a second batch of Skyrim DLC I won’t be buying. Until some late night when I’m drunk and wistful, proclaiming to myself that I wish I could just “live in Skyrim” because “despite the dragons, it is quite a beautiful place” and everything.
‘SKYRIM: DAWNGUARD’ DLC TRAILER: I’ve Missed You, You Son Of A Bitch
May 31st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
It’s been a spell since I’ve snuggled up against the arctic loins of Skyrim. During our separation, my heart has indeed grown fonder. I find myself thinking of the game, fingering the bauble it left me for Christmas. My heart yearns, and so it shall be answered. Here’s the trailer for our upcoming reunion, the DLC Dawnguard.
‘SKYRIM’ Gets Mounted Combat. Great, Where’s My F**king Flying Mount?
May 25th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Skyrim continues to pick up righteous amendments courtesy of Bethesda’s sizzle reel. It’s all great, grand, wonderful. However I will not be sated until I get a flying dragon mount.
‘SKYRIM’ DLC ‘DAWNGUARD’ Announced; Dropping This Summer
May 1st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Finally. Skyrim’s first piece of DLC has been announced. It’s called Dawnguard and it is arriving this summer.
‘SKYRIM’ Dumb Ass KINECT Support Hits Today. Also! DLC TEASE.
May 1st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Skyrim is getting Kinect support today, adding functionality I pray you never asked for and will never use. On a happier note, they’re going to tease our tips and nips about upcoming DLC as well.
‘SKYRIM’ Files Reveal ‘SNOW ELF PRINCE’, And Crossbows. Give Us The F**King DLC.
April 27th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered
Listen, Skyrim. I need your fucking DLC yesterday. Here’s hoping these files that were dredged up are confirmation that you’re coming soon. Otherwise I’m going to stab you with ice-hardened tits.
