#October2019
Hackers play porn on a Detroit highway billboard. Hack the fucking planet (with porn)!
There is malicious hacking. There is benevolent hacking. Then, there is also hacking to hang some dong on a billboard.
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HOUSE passes PRIVACY-HATING CISPA by enormous margin. BIG BRO CACKLES.
Like I said before. It is time for me to take my latex fetishes and furry orgy requests to carrier pigeon. The days of the Wild Wild Internet (if it ever truly existed) is certainly fading with stunning alacrity. Today the House passed CISPA by a considerable amount, and now it is up to Barry Obama to strike the son of a bitch down. (But let’s be honest, the death of Internet freedom is being shoved down our throat no matter how much we gag.)
YouPorn declares they’re now on the Xbox 360. Change I can believe in!
With Internet Explorer coming to the Xbox 360, times sure are a changing. Gone are the days where pornography was typically located to flavorful descriptions of what some kid on Black Ops was going to do to my mouth with his rectum. It all sounded good. Never came to nothing. Now we got ourselves some YouPorn up in the heezy.
Principal Confiscates Kid’s iPod. His Dad Creates Fake Porn Site With Principal’s Name.
This is a weird one for me. As a future teacher (yes, hide yo children), I can totally see myself confiscating an iPod or two thousand. As a future parent, I can see my mental problems combining with a protective mentality and doing this.
Study: Watching Porn Turns Off Your Brain. Well, I’m F**ked.
There’s really studies for this sort of thing. To prove that porn turns off your brain. Well shit. It seems pretty obvious that porn turns off the brain-pipe, but no man. We have to study it. Funding.
SWTOR Could Learn Something From Porn Site Billing, F**king Sh*t.
There are times when the blue-veined monster whispers nothing-sense to me. It coos at me, driving down my already dessiccated and marooned on the side of my consciousness sense of Rationality. It tells me to do things. From with the dank Dagobah that is my swampy set of boxer briefs, it commands me. Put in your credit card information. Click those buttons. Sign up for that porn site. Dance, monkey! Dance, dinky! Soon all shall be right with the world. Let the buxom shake, let the artificial moans wash over you. Spend your money, do it, do it!
Video: Dude Drives Semi-Truck Into Porn Store, Steals $800 Sex Toy.
You have to tip your cap to this man. He drove a semi-truck into an porn store, in order to gain access to the jack-off device of his balls’ dreams. An $800 sex toy complete with poon and bung to fill with his seed. You need to see the news clip, it’s as utterly ridiculous as the news story. Including the phrase “he wasn’t screwing around, either!”
Hit the jump for the video.
Trapped Chilean Miners Requested Sex Dolls, Porn, and Drugs. Makes Sense.
There’s thirty-three dudes stuck down in the middle of the Earth for a couple of months. Stuck down there in the miserable darkness with one another, not sure when they’re going to get out. Of course these men have some requests. And of course these requests consist of drugs, sex dolls, and porn. You’re stuck down there for months, you need to actualize some basic needs, right? With plastic dolls!
Thankfully, these requests were met. For the most part. While the drugs and the porn was smuggled down to these poor dudes, the request for sex dolls was denied. Why? Well apparently they could only drudge up ten sex dolls, and we know how men handle sharing women. For all our bluster, we’re a jealous sort. The doc denied “the men’s request for sex dolls …because [he] was afraid jealousy could spread after only 10, rather than 33, dolls were found.”
How the fuck can only ten sex dolls be found? These men are trapped! Goodness gracious.
What I don’t get is why they just throw their typical definition of heterosexual tendencies to the wind. Right? I’m not up to speed on Chilean definitions of heterosexual normativity, but clearly there must be escape clauses for when you’re trapped underground for months. I mean, we exempt everyone when it comes to the army barracks or prison around here in the Empire. I’m sure we’d float the pass when it comes to being stuck in a mine.
All the guys are already tripping on drugs and hammering out loads next to one another, why didn’t they just lend an orifice or two?
Just saying.
Via.
Dear Porn Sites, Three Ladies And A Dude Is Never “Mean”, Aiight?
One of the more ludicrous themes in recent porn flicks description is something like: “Three chicks being mean to a dude with hogtied BJ.” Every time, I can’t help but remark at the ridiculousness of this description. Let me tell you, Porn Descriptors of the World: three chicks on a dude is never mean and always awesome. Okay?
For that matter, three dudes on a dude is probably never anything but awesome. And three chicks on a chick is also probably never anything but awesome. Oh no! There’s a group of people tending to my sexual needs in an overwhelming quantity!
I mean, I’m sort of exempting any sort of BDSM or torture from my argument. If these chicks have tied down said dude and are lacerating his junk with pins and needles, okay, you got me. But almost every time, they just sit him down and then continue to reinforce the typical tropes porno, that admittedly is pretty cool to my ignorant ass. “Oh no! There’s three girls! And they all want to touch my penis! It’s soooo mean!” Yeah, the dude is positively suffering. If anything, the most pain he’s experiencing is the pounding of his excited heart about to burst in his god dam chest.
Not buying it.
Friday – I See No Reason Why Porn Cannot Exist on the PS3
My name is Ian Drinkwater, and I want streaming pornography on the Playstation 3. I want it sold from the Playstation store. I want to be able to click on a menu selection and choose from Goopy Load Wunders 9 or Teasing A Tasmanian She-devil. I want all of this, and I don’t see any good reason why I shouldn’t receive my wish. While there are countless valid arguments for the prohibition of porn from the PS3, I don’t think any of them are solid enough to keep my beautiful dream from coming to fruition.
I don’t have any sort of moralistic argument in support of porn. That debate is old-hat, and either you watch porn or you are miserable and kick kittens. I have done some research, and this is precisely how the two groups break down:
People who dabble in the pornographics
People so unhappy they go straight in the “Right Hand Turn Only Lane”, spend their time writing Left 4 Dead manifestos, try and tell me I have a chemical addiction or two, and still write checks at the supermarket.
I’m arguing against this argument I usually hear:
You want pornographic movies to be sold on a gaming console marketed to kids. And let’s be real, no matter what sort of restrictions you put the console, them kids will always find a way to get around it.
That’s the sort of shit my girlfriend came at me with when I initially broached the topic of PS3 porn with her. I described what I found to be Heaven to her:
Babe, you don’t understand! There’s this network, and you click on it, and they sell movies. Well, the dude from Vivid (do you know what Vivid is? Oh, okay, good), wants to put porn on the network. You could just click on a button and get porn! Isn’t that amazing?!?!!?!?!?
It freaked her out, because I was actually yelling “QUESTION MARK, EXCLAMATION POINT, QUESTION MARKRRRRRK.” I had lost it. Let me tell you, if you combine porn with caffeine, my head almost pops off.
But yeah Ian, you want on porn on something marketed for kids.
Not really. Not at all. Listen, the PS3 is an expensive piece of impressive technology. This isn’t some Nintendo 64, or even a Wii. It’s got Blu-Ray, it has equipment that is significantly more complicated to set-up. Kids who are in little league are not going to be the majority demographic here. That’s not what Sony is marketing towards. Their core audience is people like me. In their twenties or so.
Wonderful girlfriend hopped onto the Internet. With the clickety-clack of the keyboards she asked Mr. Google if I was right. Mr. Google has become the great ender of debates for my generation. Everything can be proven with minimal keystrokes.
Do you think I’d bring this up if I was wrong? Of course not!
Via Gamer.blore:
Nielsen Media Research tried to prove the point by tracking usage data by age and gender for all three of the home consoles. Console activity in all National TV Panel homes was measured.
The PS3 generally seems to appeal to the older generation, with no young kids anywhere in the mix… Both males and females saw the largest usage amongst the 18 to 24-age range.
In an interview about the Playstation Network, where this porn would be bought, PSN director of operations says the PSN demographic is:
Via Kotaku:
Primarily male. The average age is 28 years old, in usually the middle- to higher-income range. They over-index against those with graduate degrees.
