NASA loves teasing us with news of how our Red Brother used to be. The Astronomical Gurus have revealed that Ares once had an ocean that may have covered nearly half of its northern hemisphere.
Elon Musk ain’t just launching satellites into space to cloak the Blue Marble in the Internet. Motherfucker is thinking larger. Like building the goddamn space Internet. For Mars. And probably Europa.
NASA has released a new image of the fucking PILLARS OF CREATION. You know the fucking photo. You do. And now you can know it in like, totally tits-berry better quality. Tits-berry.
Check it out, bruh! And bruhdette! It’s the fucking frosted slopes of Mars. Yeah, man. Totally wizard rager time at the ski slopes on the Red Planet! Winter break! Winter break a leg rushing to the local Space-Port, and book your ticket to the dopest ski resort in the solar system. OhwhatthefuckamIsaying? Let NASA explain it better.
Fuck! Get me the time-machine-space-ship! We’re going to the goddamn Red Planet to bathe in Gale Crater. Fuck practicality and “scientific limitations.” I’m going there and you can’t stop me. So grab your swim trunks, your handy guide for Colonizing Planets, and protein bars. You might as well join me.
NASA’s Orion spacecraft is a pretty big fucking component of their drive towards Mars. So glory, glory, glory be to The Force that its launch went fucking perfectly perfect today.
Fuck, yo. If nature ain’t a real fucking gorgeous son of a gun. And goddamn if it doesn’t chap my ass that I can’t get out to places with the necessary lighting to peep me a look at the Milky Way Galaxy. It seems that luckier, more talented people will have to continue to bring me looks.
Goddamn Jupiter. It’s just straight mean muggin’ us in this picture. I suppose you can’t blame it. Not only is it GIANT AS FUCK (1,000 Earths could fit inside), but it also serves as the bulwark for this Blue Marble. Making sure errant bullshit don’t relentlessly smash into us. So go ahead, Jupiter. Mean mug.
BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING COCOON! LOL!?~? Get it? Ah, whatever. Here is Phil Plait explaining what’s going down in this wonderful fucking picture.
Goddamn! Sign me the fuck for going to Bradbury’s Bastion. Apparently NASA is thinking about a deep-sleep option for the crew heading to Mars. Which frankly is probably nothing. ‘Cause like I’m sure they’re thinking about a lot of options. But still. I’m going to pretend it’s happening. Always wanted to be on that cryo-sleep tip.