#December2014

Mars’ Gale Crater once had a longstanding massive lake

Gale Crater

Fuck! Get me the time-machine-space-ship! We’re going to the goddamn Red Planet to bathe in Gale Crater. Fuck practicality and “scientific limitations.” I’m going there and you can’t stop me. So grab your swim trunks, your handy guide for Colonizing Planets, and protein bars. You might as well join me.

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NASA’s Orion launch is a f**king success. Behold America’s new space-craft.

Orion!

NASA’s Orion spacecraft is a pretty big fucking component of their drive towards Mars. So glory, glory, glory be to The Force that its launch went fucking perfectly perfect today.

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Space Swoon: The Milky Way Galaxy over the Devil’s Tower

Devil's Tower.

Fuck, yo. If nature ain’t a real fucking gorgeous son of a gun. And goddamn if it doesn’t chap my ass that I can’t get out to places with the necessary lighting to peep me a look at the Milky Way Galaxy. It seems that luckier, more talented people will have to continue to bring me looks.

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Hubble catches Jupiter straight mean muggin’

Jupiter straight muggin'

Goddamn Jupiter. It’s just straight mean muggin’ us in this picture. I suppose you can’t blame it. Not only is it GIANT AS FUCK (1,000 Earths could fit inside), but it also serves as the bulwark for this Blue Marble. Making sure errant bullshit don’t relentlessly smash into us. So go ahead, Jupiter. Mean mug.

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The Cocoon Nebula wraps you in its warm embrace

Gorgeous.

BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING COCOON! LOL!?~? Get it? Ah, whatever. Here is Phil Plait explaining what’s going down in this wonderful fucking picture.

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NASA thinking about deep-sleep option for Mars crew

cryosleep

Goddamn! Sign me the fuck for going to Bradbury’s Bastion. Apparently NASA is thinking about a deep-sleep option for the crew heading to Mars. Which frankly is probably nothing. ‘Cause like I’m sure they’re thinking about a lot of options. But still. I’m going to pretend it’s happening. Always wanted to be on that cryo-sleep tip.

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This Dusty Spiral Galaxy just chillin’ in Virgo

Dusty Spiral!

This goddamn dusty spiral galaxy is gorgeous! A veritable fucking chilling ground for stars. Either being born, or just livin’ out the middle of their lives. You know. Sipping space margaritas. Talking about the good old days.

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Space Porn: The Milky Way as viewed from the International Space Station

Swoon!

I say goddamn! If we can’t get up into them there Inter-national Space-Stations, at least they are doing us some solids. Sending back gorgeous pictures like this one. The Milky Way Galaxy straight bulgin’, the cosmos waving hello.

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NASA’s new Mars-Orbiter, MAVEN, is officially in orbit

MAVEN

Around the Red Planet, the secret Steve Jobs and Richard Nixon-led Illuminati are scrambling. Trying to cover up their Pyramids and Installations with optical camouflage. You see those pesky NASA folks have gotten themselves a new Mars-Orbiter set to gather data on Ares. This is dope for us. Not so much for the Illuminati.

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SPACE GET! – SpaceX and Boeing are now NASA’s space taxis to the ISS

ISS

Fuck to the yes! NASA has announced that human spaceflight is once again going to be rocking and rolling out of the United States. To the skies! To the rocks! To the stars! Once more. With some help from some friends. And the non-mysterious benefactors that will be aiding them courtesy of fuckin’ lucrative contracts are SpaceX and Boeing.

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