This is the “first picture taken of the moon” by U.S. spacecraft. “First.” If you believe that, I got a fucking bridge to sell you. I have it on good authority that the U.S. has had a base on the Dark Side of the Moon since Teddy Roosevelt’s first administration. Studying the Martians. Preparing. Always preparing.
How the fuck we going to explore Jupiter’s moon, Europa? Eh! It’s iced out as fuck! NASA got itself an idea of how to go about doing it, and it’s begun testing this idea. A fucking laser-powered drill.
Hey man, in a world where our empirical data is constantly challenged, isn’t like *bong rip* everything just speculation, mannn? But yeah. NASA Astronomer Wizards are wondering if there is water on one of Pluto’s moons. Which would be neat. It’d be one more resource the slap-ass dummies who run the world couldn’t get together to harvest. Ah man *bong rip* I gotta keep that PMA.
Somewhat fittingly, Bateman and I were recently discussing how the Earth was first populated with water. In a state of inebriation, and probable complete incorrectness, I recalled a theory that the Earth was continuously pelted with comets from the
Oort Cloud Kupier Belt. Even if I was recounting the theory correctly (and I’m sure I probably wasn’t), a new challenger to that probably-wrong theory has entered the arena!
Behold the Universe! Regenerating itself! This four-year time lapse video from Hubble shows a pretty killer star explosion. Reminding us that we ain’t show, but that’s okay because we’re part of something rocking.
Sun’s all like. Bro. Your dumb shit blog is dominated by the Electronic Entertainment Expo news. Dumb shit blog. Dumb event. You want news, bro? *Clenches Sun Abdomen and uncorks giant Sun Fart aka Solar Flare* There’s your news.
So like, bummer. NASA has issued forth a report that finds that the agency cannot afford manned missions to Mars. Inflation and all that happy horseshit precludes the Great Journey. But they ain’t giving up, instead asking the U.S. government to up said budget. C’mon, Uncle Sam. Hook it the fuck up.
Tired of Star Wars news? Agitated over the Edgar Wright departure? Here’s some perspective, friends. A goddamn gorgeous picture of four fucking galaxy clusters smashing into one another. Remember, we ain’t shit! So, yeah, that pop culture headache really don’t matter in the long run.
NASA is fixin’ to send some plant life to the Red Planet in 2020. Listen, sounds cool. Right? But if I know one thing, it’s that the radiation on the planet’s surface is going to mutate this plant life. Create thirty-foot sentient Tree Beasts who will wait. Lurk. Build a tribe. And than annihilate the first humans to arrive. It has been written.
Still though, sort of fun?
SPACE LETTUCE, mofuckahs. The time is now, now, now. NASA’s Greens In The Black Expanse of Oblivion project is almost ready to bare…veggies. In space, no one can hear your kids scream about getting veggies! Other dumb intro sentences!