#August2017

Rumor: ‘Fantastic Four’ reboot based on unpublished Mark Millar children’s book. Go home Fox, you’re drunk

fantastic four childrens book reboot mark millar

What the fuck are you doing, Fox. Like, can we just give the rights back to Marvel Studios at this point? Please? Jesus fucking Christ. This is a nonsensical idea if the book was written by anyone, let alone Mark Millar.

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Netflix acquires Mark Millar’s ‘Millarworld’, home of ‘Kingsman’ and ‘Kick-Ass’, becoming your #1 stop for derivative titles

netflix acquire mark millar millarworld

I have a love-hate relationship with Mark Millar. In that I hate his derivative, shock-jock ass, but I enjoyed the Kingsman. He used to be a prime target here on OL, but I’ve sort of just decided to forget about him. But here he is! Like all lost loves-hates, bubbling back up. The author’s “Millarworld” has been acquired by Netflix, who will being producing content based on his titles.

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Mark Millar wants John Cena for Superior movie

john cena superior

Mark Millar knows exactly who he wants to play the lead in the movie adaptation of his comic book, Superior. It’s none other than John fucking Cena. I fuck with this. So hard.

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Mark Millar reviving ‘Kick-Ass’ with black female lead; what could go wrong?!

Kick-Ass.

When Mark Millar isn’t busy ripping off other people’s ideas with a lazy “What If?” twist, he’s usually being problematic in his portrayal of African Americans. When he’s not being problematic in his portrayal of African Americans these days, he’s usually doing something (at the very least) thinly veiled in misogyny. Usually he’s doing all three at the same time within a story’s run. So, you know, what could go wrong with Millar making Kick-Ass‘ new protagonist a black female?! Maybe, maybe the fact that Millar is just going to write the first issue of this new run is portentous of something actually promising. I’m not holding my breath, though.

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Mark Millar and Greg Capullo’s creator-owned ‘Reborn’ dropping in October

Reborn

Man, it’s been a hot minute since I covered something Mark Millar-related. That’s probably because I think he’s a hateful, derivative hack. So why am I covering this news, about a new title of his? I love me some Greg Capullo. Do the two entities cancel themselves out, offering me a chance to pick-up Reborn? I’m, I’m not sure yet.

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WUT Rumor: ‘FANTASTIC FOUR vs. X-MEN’ MOVIE being considered by Fox.

smoke that braj

Fox is all like “Hey, fukk u Marvel! You may own the rights to like 75% of ur properties but that doesn’t mean you get to do the Heroes Fight One Another movie storyline first! Were gonna do it while Mark Millaer wipez his ass original copies of Amazing Fantasy #Something comics are ghey.”

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The ‘X-FORCE’ MOVIE will feature a 5-Person team. Plus! So many pouches.

Motherfucking Cable, nephew!

Rob Liefeld needs to be the artistic director on this son of a bitch. Just totally lay out some gorgeous costumes with like a million-pouches. Every character played by Vin Diesel (forget the Avengers 2), after we stack on some serious muscles. ‘Cause, you know. Ain’t the X-Force unless it has anatomy-breaking muscles and pouches.

(Unless it’s Uncanny X-Force.)

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Mark Millar spits about making a cohesive Marvel Universe for Fox Films. Aiiiggghhhttt.

Suppose I’m just dropping Marky Boy these days. How exactly can one create a cohesive Marvel Universe over at Fox when Marvel retains the majority of the film rights? You can’t, really! What you can do is squeeze every ounce of juice out of the titles and characters that you do own. Right?

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Matthew Vaughn leaves ‘X-MEN: FIRST CLASS’, Bryan Singer may replace. Well crap.

I don’t like Bryan Singer. I don’t like his X-Men movies. Now the dude may be taking over for Matthew Vaughn, who has probably left X-Men: First Class 2 to direct some Mark Millar shit-bomb. I am unhappy with all of this! All of it!

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MARK MILLAR signs on with FOX as ‘X-MEN’ and ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ consultant. I think this sucks.

Ah, as the tides turn. If this has occurred before Mark Millar spent his writing hours upon a toilet, blowing hate both out of his skull and ass, I would be stoked. Alas, I no longer am. Let’s see how many uncomfortable rape jokes and juvenile ethnic jokes he can slide into these two properties.

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