#April2020
NASA has found an Earth-Sized Habitable Zone Planet in old ass Kepler data. Thought you got away, eh?
NASA has found some interesting shit in old Kepler data! Specifically, an Earth-sized planet in the Habitable Zone. Sorry, exoplanet! You can’t hide from our monkey asses.
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Space Swoon: Kepler’s final glimpse of the galaxy is fucking gorgeous
The Kepler space telescope is dead! Long live the fucking Kepler space telescope! NASA has dropped the final image Kepler sent back, and per usual, it’s dope.
Hit the jump!
NASA bids goodnight to Kepler with final set of commands. Fare thee well, sweet telescope!
The Kepler telescope has found so many goddamn dope things out in the cosmos. But, now it is time for the sweet telescope to sleep. NASA has given the telescope a final set of “goodnight’ commands to the telescope on the anniversary of Johannes Kepler’s death. A fitting end.
The Kepler Space Telescope is dead. Long live the fucking Kepler Space Telescope!
Folks, the Kepler Space Telescope is dead. However, it shall not be forgotten by any means. The telescope is responsible for finding, conservatively, a fuck-ton of exoplanets. Therefore, we must remember it always. Dead, but alive forever.
Astronomers may have found the first “exomoon” which is rad as it fucking sounds
I sort of thought that we had just found exomoons already. However, we hadn’t! At least not until now. That’s right, fuckers. Astronomers may have found the first exomoon.
NASA has found evidence of 10 new Earth-sized planets with conditions for water
NASA has found 10 new (as in newly found, not out of the package) Earth-sized planets. But wait, there is more! These planets sport conditions ideal for water.
NASA *confirms* first near-Earth-size planet in “habitable zone”
Pack your bags, it’s on! We’ve found ourselves a confirmed near-Earth-sized planet rocking out in the “habitable zone.” And it’s only a mere 1,400 light-years away!
NASA has announced discovery of 715 MORE EXOPLANETS
All the planets! We will discover them all! And then — then we will silently weep because we will never reach any of them. Goddamn technological limitations! Goddamn laws of the Universe.
NASA abandons repair plans for KEPLER TELESCOPE. Goodnight, Sweet Prince.
After finding roughly three-fucking-zillion exoplanets, it appears that the Kepler telescope is no longer going to hunt for the little balls of hope out there in the cosmos. It was a good goddamn run. But it needs repairs to maintain its accuracy, and NASA says they probably wouldn’t take.
Planet with FOUR SUNS found. Tatooine officially offers nothing.
Well shoot. Back in the day Tatooine could get by being a piece of shit desert world because it offered the novelty of two suns. Insert binary sunset. Now it doesn’t have anything to fall back upon. Researches have found a planet for four suns. A planet that farts on Tatooine will kissing its mother. A tragic tale.
