Oh yeah! Wait — that Marvel: Assembling The Universes and Shit special was on tonight? On ABC? I didn’t catch it. Forgot. Thankfully for my ass, every fucking website is posting the concept art that Marvel revealed during it. There’s some dope stuff within, but I’m pretty sure everyone is just going to be stroking, slapping, or rubbing it to one piece of art in particular. Tony Stark’s Hulkbuster armor going head to head with the Hulk. Goddamn. Hulkbuster. Boner. Hulkbuster. Say it again, baby. Hulkbuster.
Marvel Knights is returning, baby! Back in the day, Marvel Knights arrived on the scene and punched my balls with awesomeness. Maybe it doesn’t hold up (I don’t remember), but the Kevin Smith and Joe Quesada run on Daredevil was one of my favorites at the time. So I’m pretty goddamn excited that the imprint is returning under the tutelage of some indie darlings.
Interesting. Here are a bunch of viral videos for Agents of SHIELD. They’re neat enough. What is intriguing about them however is that they raise the question of when the show takes place. Many a person has speculated that Coulson is actually dead, and the television show takes place prior to Avengers. These videos could corroborate such a belief. I mean, the Hulk is a “real life creature” being investigated? Seeing Iron Man on film a big deal? Motherfuckers are both wayyy out in open by the time of the Avengers credits roll.
Look at Kevin Feige dropping No Duh! Bombs! Dude is all like saying that a standalone Hulk flick with Ruffalo wouldn’t come until after Avengers 2. No doi! All of us geeks have spent hours scouring Marvel’s Phase 2. This doesn’t surprise me. At all.
Guillermo del Toro hints at ‘big name’ writer for his ‘INCREDIBLE HULK’ TV show. Please god not Lindelof.
The whole fucking Hulk on TV and in the movies but being two different universes – maybe – and two different actors – definitely- hurts my fucking skull. It doesn’t take much to hurt my skull. Children. Math. Squirrels. So trying to comprehend the complexity of the Bruce Banner multi-medium conundrum gets the nose bleeding. Can’t this shit be simple? Maybe? With all of this incestuous riddling, I’m finding it hard to get excited for the TV version of the Hulk product. Maybe del Toro knows this, and that is why he is tweaking my nipples with sweet nothings.
I still ain’t over Avengers. I’ve seen it four times, but this has nary an effect on my voracious appetite for more. I will have to sate myself on adorable pop culture particles that the film has generated, such as these Avengers papercraft products.
Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige has to be having a blast lighting money on fire and screaming to the people in the street, “It simply does not matter!, we have so much now!” whilst wearing only a smile. Pausing briefly from his euphoria, he’s laid out the upcoming plans for the Marvel Movie Money Making Machine.
Potential spoilers? after the jump.
The Avengers should be as necessary to you this weekend as breathing, if:
- You saw and enjoyed the Marvel Universe films of the past five years — like Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.
- You read and enjoy superhero comic books.
- You have a fucking pulse.
If two of these things apply, you’ve probably already seen it. If all three do, you saw it last night at midnight like the rest of us.
I’m getting a bit of the old motion sickness from whipping my head around following the conflicting Hulky reports. I had just assumed a movie was in the works. Kevin Feige said no. Now some other dude who runs a part of the Marvel Entertainment Kraken is all like “Yeah, prolly”. Someone give me a goddamn answer!