Weekend Open Bar: A Fury’d Mess

untitled | wes lang

Weekend’s half over, and I’m just opening the bar. C’est la vie of a loser blogger with a moderately busy life and a poor sense of discipline. Crazy week. First week of the semester. No gentle ascent into the warm, welcoming arms of academic banality. No ma’am. No sir. Instead. Picture it. A rocket-ship. My ass gently dolloped onto the top of said rocket-ship. Instead. Picture it. Said rocket-ship rocketing into the atmosphere, my poor, sad flaccid dong-dong burning up. My hair a fury’d mess. My nipples chaffing under the duress of embracing former-Earth, my throat. Oh, my throat! A bloodied, shredded mess as I howl at the enormity of the next fifteen weeks, laugh at my general enjoyment of this madness, scream at my own anxiety and depressing encircling my brain-piece with their gnarled claws.

I’m here, though. At the Weekend Open Bar. I’m here though, hoping you’ll join me at said bar. Come hang out. Come tell me what you’re up to throughout this half-over Weekend. What are you eating-playing-reading-drinking-worshipping?

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Weekend Open Bar: Transcend Meat-Space


I’m tired, man. Straight fatigued. The sort of stretched-out, mentally wiped LackOf that hits on occasion. My wife has been away, the dog has been barking incessantly every morning, the glory of InfiniteMasturbation and PizzaTime that shepherded me through the early week has lost its sheen. My work has been unrelenting, and it doesn’t appear there’s a vacation on the horizon until December. Eh, fuck it. Eh, fuck it!

This is Weekend Open Bar. The yaddaYaddayadda where we YapYapYap. Please, come YapYapYap with me. Tell me what you’re EatingDrinkingWatchingReadingMashingittoo this weekend.

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Weekend Open Bar: The Sun Sets On Forever

hawaii | sachiko

The summer drags on, man.

As I predicted a bit ago, I knew I was going to find myself melancholic as I found myself stranded in the liminal state between Summer Teaching and Fall Teaching. At first it was great. Sleeping in late. No lesson planning. Rocking shorts every day! Shorts, every day! Then the tedium set in.

My wife went away today, she’s going to be away, for something like thirteen out of sixteen days. At first it was great. I’ve jacked off fourteen times, walked the dog twice, crushed nineteen Diet Dew, and marveled at what freedom I have. Then the tedium set in.

The summer drags on, man.

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Monday Morning Commute: We Can Dance If You Want To

you can dance if you want to

untitled | christopher zelaya

We can dance if you want to!

We can leave the Material Realm behind! ‘

Cause your connection to the Linear Tangible Time-Cord is weak and if it’s weak, well, let’s leave this Plane behind!

What’s up, you fucking degenerates! Oh, don’t take offense. We’re all degenerating into worm-food, into former-human, entrapped by failing meat-cases.

So we might as well dance.

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Weekend Open Bar: The World’s Worst Detectives

weekend open bar - the nice guys

Come one, come all.

It’s Hot as Fuck along the Northeastern seaboard of the Empire. Our West Coast comrades seem to be dealing with their own Raging Fires and Non-Moisture. And the Midwest? The Rest of the Earth? I don’t know, but I imagine there are Failings and Fantastic Findings there as well.

Come one, come all.

To the Weekend Open Bar. Soothe your scorched Existence with a cold ale, a back rub that lingers perhaps a bit too long from yours truly, and some good old fashion Shooting of the Shit with fellow kind pop culture kindred. Let’s hang out across the next couple of days, sharing what we’re doing to enjoy Life.

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Weekend Open Bar: To Cyber-Space for the Meat-Case

weekend open bar - to cyberspace for the meat-case

I say goddamn!, I’m glad it’s the weekend!

For numerous reasons. Oh, today marks the first day out of the past eight where I’m not dealing directly with my grandmother’s day. I say goddamn!, I’m glad it’s the weekend!

Oh, it marks the beginning of my glorious Cheat Days, where I can stuff my face with catastrophic amounts of calories with no guilt.  I say goddamn!, I’m glad it’s the weekend.

Oh, it marks the beginning of a laundry list of Dope Shit I’m planning on watching, reading, playing.

I say goddamn!, I’m glad it’s the weekend!

So why don’t you join me here, at Weekend Open Bar. The column where I implore all of you denizens of the Space-Ship Omega to gather, to hang out. To share the various things that are causing you to “I say goddamn!, I’m glad it’s the weekend”, with me, comrades.

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