J.J. ABRAMS directing ‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’, I am sprung.

J.J. Abrams.

I bag on J.J. Abrams a lot, but I’m pretty fucking excited about this news. Homeboy isn’t an auteur or anything, but he is visually stunning, and more than competent. In 2015, we’re getting Whedon-powered Avengers 2, and Abrams-fueled Episode VII. Praise the Makers.

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Microsoft Buys Skype; Now We Can Wank On Xbox Live!

Microsoft has bought Skype for a ridiculously enormous amount of money. I may be the only human being alive who has never used Skype, nor has had any urge to. However, with this recent acquisition I am hoping I’ll be able to seamlessly masturbate in video messages for assholes who rip me up in Black Ops.

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