When Avengers  first came out, contributor and relative d-bag Eduardo Pluto left the theater asking me if the film would make a billi. I wasn’t sure, but I threw my chips into the “Yes” ring anyways. My reasoning was that ass-sore Alice in Generic Burton Land  had done it, and if it could – goddammit this gem would as well.

I was correct! However, I never imagined it happening this quickly.

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Hellllllllll yeah. Avengers  has broken the all-time domestic box office opening, farting on all those that dared come before it. Big, green Hulkian farts, flinging witty quips of disparagement as it does so.

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The Avengers should be as necessary to you this weekend as breathing, if:

–  You saw and enjoyed the Marvel Universe films of the past five years — like Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.

– You read and enjoy superhero comic books.

– You have a fucking pulse.

If two of these things apply, you’ve probably already seen it.   If all three do, you saw it last night at midnight like the rest of us.

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