‘AVENGERS’ Breaks $1 BILLION Mark In 19 Days. Assembled, Indeed! #CrapPuns

When Avengers  first came out, contributor and relative d-bag Eduardo Pluto left the theater asking me if the film would make a billi. I wasn’t sure, but I threw my chips into the “Yes” ring anyways. My reasoning was that ass-sore Alice in Generic Burton Land  had done it, and if it could – goddammit this gem would as well.

I was correct! However, I never imagined it happening this quickly.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘THE AVENGERS’ (Hulk) SMASHES All-Time Domestic Box Office Opening Weekend Gross. Hell Yeah.

Hellllllllll yeah. Avengers  has broken the all-time domestic box office opening, farting on all those that dared come before it. Big, green Hulkian farts, flinging witty quips of disparagement as it does so.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Avengers: You’re Going to See It. Now You’re Here to Understand Why You’re Going to See It.

The Avengers should be as necessary to you this weekend as breathing, if:

–  You saw and enjoyed the Marvel Universe films of the past five years — like Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.

– You read and enjoy superhero comic books.

– You have a fucking pulse.

If two of these things apply, you’ve probably already seen it.   If all three do, you saw it last night at midnight like the rest of us.

Read the rest of this entry »