Another Monday. Another snow day. The Frost God gives no fuck about the Northeast Corridor of the Empire. Week after week The Frostbitten-Fuck Deity has pummeled us, twisting our psychic-nipples and daring us to concede. There sure ain’t no fucking commuting going on for this guy. There sure ain’t no fucking classes being taught. But at least if the heat goes out, I can use all the syllabi I’ve printed out as fucking kindling. ‘Cause they sure aren’t representative of our semester progression any longer. Alas! Alack! And while there isn’t any shuffling to work today, there is the Abyss that is yet another day or two of Cabin Fever.
Here’s what I’m looking forward to and digging this week. Should I be able to leave the house. Should the power remain on.
What are you sweating over the next seven?
All Hail The Oculus Brain Drain of 2014. The company that Better Bring Me The Metaverse is continuing to snag up talent from motherfuckers all over the gaming landscape. The latest brain-piece to be vacuumed up into their Monolithic Corpus is the senior programmer behind Bastion and Transistor.
It’s Friday! Ain’t no time for fucking clever headlines and shit! Open up! Your fucking mind-eyes-gullet. Swallow this gorgeous cosplay of Red from Transistor.
Oh Shit! Caff-Pow up in your cereal! Eating allllllllllllllllll the fucking marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, and you’ll like it! Anyways so yeah it appears that Rendar is still locked in the fucking bathroom or something. His cock stuck, somehow simultaneously sizzling and dripping, in his Ryan Gosling plushie. So it’s me. You. And our choices for Monday Morning Commute. The rundown on what we’re looking forward to this week.
Oh baby. I’ve been sweating Transistor since it was revealed last year. So tasty. So pretty. (Tasty?) And a good goddamn, I had no fucking clue it was dropping so soon. But it is, but it is. The son of a bitch shall be arriving on the PS4 next month.
The developers of Bastion seem poised to deliver another glory unto my undeserving ass. Fuck yeah! The trailer for Transistor features the same gorgeous art design as Bastion. However, this time it is used to coat a world in glorious cyberpunk paint. Yes, Supergiant. I will take your isometric Action RPG. I will rub it on my body, calling your name into the night. I am ready.