JUNOT DIAZ wins $500k ‘GENIUS GRANT’, vows to write monster book. ILU, Junot.

The shit! I’m not even done picking the boogers out of my snot-covered face after finishing Diaz’ This is How You Lose Her when this bomb drops. The son of a bitch has been given a half-milli genius grant, and homeboy is pledging to use it to finally write his monster book.

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Monday Morning Commute: SOCIOPATHS are KNIVES with HUGS

Gather round, children. Taste the delicious taste of my nectar. This here sugary paste didn’t distill itself. No sir. No ma’am. Salutations to all genders, the myriad of multiple possibilities in a world where binary is only for coding! Ha! Speaking of delectable, what a pun, no? Where I am from you respect your mother and sharpen your pun. Did I ever tell you the story about how my Great Great Great Vat Father was shanked behind a stim stage for mouthing off without a retort? Old mucous-face tried to parry with a master of repartee and when his wits ran dry, his blood ran fluidly. Never forget what Jean-Paul said. Oh sure he was a coke-head and was banging the chicks working under him and sure he ultimately went even way too Red for my socialist, anarchist, burn-it-down ass. None the less. Remember when Jeanie said.

Words are loaded pistols.

What does that have to do with this column? Nothing. This is Monday Morning Commute. Gather around the watering hole, us shackled to the churning of the capitalist tides! How are you hiding from the next sixty years of brain-numbing repetition? This week, which arts are you finding salvation in? Movies, music, television, funny book, new sexy toys. I want to hear it all. Share it.

This is what I am digging.

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JUNOT DIAZ, this is how you gain me. Crap puns! No f**ks given.

Oh Amazon Prime, bless you for this gift. Well shit, I paid for it. But I’m still really fucking excited.

Monday Morning Commute: Gooey Groined Existential Bliss

If you listen closely during Autumn here on the Eastern seaboard of the Empire, you can hear the gentle hum of the Universe. Raised hairs on the nape of your neck, don’t despair. You are sensing during the Fall the quiet passage of Existence. For some it drives them into intoxicants, lonely. For some, it drives them to intoxicants, relishing the diminished weather. For me, I find a gentle joy in the gathering of family around roasted beasts, around football games, around the scattered leaves and the comfy clothing.

This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where we all gather and share what we’re enjoying on a given week. Let us not acknowledge the grind this week, but rather enjoy our little community. Humming along towards star stuff repurposing, humming along together.

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