It is a melancholic Weekend Open Bar, friends. For while I open the doors to the Tavern with arms-spread welcomingly, the very cracking of the doorframe signals doom. Or namely, it signals the dusk of my Spring Break. A sad time. A bad time. Every moment a march towards the return to hour-and-a-half commute and pants. And pants! Oh, I haven’t worn a pair of real pants since last Saturday. My ever burgeoning waistline not tortured by restriction, nay, but instead comforted by the glory of an elastic waist.
Do you want your Netflix in 360-degrees? Maybe you can look down at your virtual belly and see virtual crumbs? Well, you’re going to be able (to probably not) do that soon! On Samsung’s Gear VR.
Because — of course. Why wouldn’t Facebook get its own army of drones? It’s the New Black! The coolest list of tech-suaveness. Buy your drones, launch your army, prepare for the great Corporo-Warfare of 20xx Read the rest of this entry »
There’s a Pac-Man reality TV show in the works. This future-abortion is being helmed by Merv Griffin Entertainment, the fuckers behind Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! I know it doesn’t make any sense, but welcome to the Wasteland, where nothing makes sense. Therefore, everything makes sense. We’re turning the board game Battleship into a fucking movie. Why can’t we turn Pac-Man into a reality show? Of course you don’t have a good reason! Here, have some details down your willing gullet, from Roy Bank, the Guy Of Some Importance Or Something from Merv:
A big, crazy Wipeout-type event with a lot of energy. The idea we have is to take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world’s biggest game of tag to television.
I can’t imagine why this wouldn’t be a success and why we won’t all be stapled to our chairs while its on. Nonetheless, it isn’t the Pac-Man television show I envisioned. In my reality TV show, someone hides a bottle of Ambien in a giant grass labyrinth. While I’m searching for it, people chase me with blunt objects. If I find the bottle of Ambien, I then pound them pills and chase them, because next to the bottle of Ambien is also a corked bat and an unloaded gun.
I think this would make for much more riveting television, but what the fuck do I know.