The final trailer for The Dark Knight Rises has dropped. You’re not worthy, but you should watch it anyways. Holy *fuck*.
Oh shit! Here’s some fucking Batnews up on your Friday tits. Josh Pence has been cast in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ to star in flashback sequences. The most significant part? He’s playing a younger version of someone we’ve already met in the movies.
Spoilers ahead, boyos.
Hit the jump!
Oh my god I’ve crapped my bat-panties. The Dark Knight 2 or whatever you want to call it has a release date:
The Hollywood Reporter’s Heat Vision blog has confirmed that Christopher Nolan’s next and final Batman film will open July 20, 2012. Presently in postproduction on “Inception,” Nolan is working on the story for the as-yet-untitled Batman film with writer David Goyer.
How the fuck do you to The Dark Knight? Who the fuck knows. Even if the sequel is a Return of the Jedi to the Dark Knight’s Empire Strikes Back, it’ll still be enough to send legions of dorks like me into raving throes of ecstasy.
I’m playing through Arkham Asylum like any diehard Batman fanboy should be right now. It’s a pretty tight, but I’ll save my impressions for the review I’m working on over for Mishka Bloglin. What I wanted to comment on though, is how fucking jacked Commissioner Gordon looks in the game. No, seriously. The dude looks like a sixty year-old pile of muscles. Just stare at the dude. There isn’t a doorway on Earth that the guy could fit through. He looks like he’s training with Brock Lesnar and eating whole cows for dinner.
What the fuck is going on here?
It’s not confusing for any egghead who knows the engine the game is running on. Eidos is using the Unreal Engine 3. You may recognize it as the engine that brought the world the anatomical impossibility that is Marcus Fenix and the rest of the Gears of Wars cast. The engine is renown for building the enormous, Vin Diesel, HGH-popping body type; and then using it as the default shape of any male in the game.
I just didn’t think it would be used to craft Jim Gordon into the dude who not only runs the police force for Gotham, but probably also can fuck your mother while carrying her up a flight of stairs.
Bravo, Unreal Engine 3!
Yes. Someone, somewhere in the world searched for “The Dark Knight Masturbating” yesterday. Just think of that. Seriously, someone did it.
And then Google brought them to us. I’m horrified and honored.