‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ has sold 45 Million Copies. HELL OF A HEIST LOL.


I played through Grand Theft Auto V during Winter Break, and it threatened to steal my soul. What started off as oh okay this is a game turned into I never want to leave Michael, Franklin, and Trevor. Ever! Fuck you, Mom! These pants aren’t dirty, they’re loved-in. And then they had to “force me to take my meds” and “make me well.” Whatever.

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‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.

Grand Theft Auto V.

Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.

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‘GRAND THEFT AUTO’ officially dropping in SPRING 2013. Wee?

I don’t know. Are we supposed to be enthused by this? Spring is a pretty big season. Like, I’m thinking April. It better be April. Didn’t GTA IV drop in April? I like cookies. Do you?

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‘BORDERLANDS 2’ TRAILER: Full ‘LION KING’ Treatment For Our Horror-Win

Borderlands 2 goes In The Jungle. Wasn’t what you were expecting, but god dammit you’ll fucking love it.

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ANALYST SEZ: ‘GTA V’ To Launch In Q1 2013; Sell 14 Million Copies.

Some wizard analyst is predicting that Grand Theft Auto V: Still Poorly Influencing Children  is going to drop in the first of quarters, 2012+1. It will also sell a lot. Go figure.

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Grand Theft Auto V Codenamed ‘Rush’, Set In LA?

The bubbling is beginning. Can you feel it percolating underneath the gaming community’s crotch? Soon, all shit Grand Theft Auto V will burst forth, slathering us in ultra-violence and profanity. Today, it inches closer. Apparently some dude named superannuation is a Google wizard, and is most adroit at digging up bullshit. Our boy super has gathered up information regarding a Take-Two Interactive casting call for a project codenamed Rush. Is this shit the GTA V news we’ve been frothing for? The ridiculous cast of FBI agents, yokels, hippies and mobster suggest it really may be! OH shit.

You be the judge.

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