The deities aren’t playing fair. I know, intellectually, that I shouldn’t rub my groin in a movie theater. It exists on a vague, intangible level. Despite this understanding, how the hell can I at least not sneak a quick tip flick during this movie? I don’t know, sounds like a dare.

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[Via | By  Pascal Witaszek]

I’d see it. That in mind, I should also mention I’d see anything starring Gosling at this point.

Drive. You know, *that* movie. Made the ladies swoon and the dudes wish they could smolder. Actually, it also made the dudes swoon and the ladies smolder. Pretty much everyone who saw it that I’ve came across totally rubbed their groins against the back of a chair after seeing it. Anyways! Fucking anyways. Drive‘s tandem of director  Nicolas Winding Refn and actor Ryan Gosling are making a new flick together, and it was dropped by FilmDistrict, the distributor of the Drive. No fucking worries.

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Rodrigo’s eyes went skyward, following the rocket as it pushed against unseen forces. Gravity. Defeatism. Self-appointed moral barometers. The seven-year-old was watching magic incarnate, and although he knew this to be the case, he couldn’t find the words to express it.

“It’s…it’s…it’s…” was all that Rodrigo exhaled when his opinion was polled.

Once the rocket had disappeared, Reggie tried to pull his kid brother towards the car. Unsuccessfully, of course. Rodrigo kept his neck craned, concentrating on the fading wisps of purple exhaust. Imagining the strange world the crew was going to explore. Contemplating how wonderful it’d be if the planet’s inhabitants actually accepted the offer.

From what the scientists said, they could be quite stubborn.

“D’ya think the aliens are going to come back with `em?” Rodrigo inquired through a gap-toothed grin.

“Well,” Reggie began, pausing to take his brother’s hand while crossing the street, “for their sake, I certainly hope so.”

“Why’s dat?”

“`Cause they’ll never get here on their own. And they’re hurtin’ for certain – more people than resources, more hatred than love. Sometimes even the brightest of rainbows can’t shine through the storm clouds. Doesn’t mean the rainbow ain’t there, jus’ needs a sweet breeze to clear out the air. Get what I’m sayin’?”

“Uh-huh,” Rodrigo mused, idly scratching his scalp. “The rocket-men are gonna go help the aliens `cause the aliens are in big-time trouble.”

“You got it, buddy.”

The seven-year-old pushed his legs into double-time to keep pace with his older brother. Other days, he’d dawdle behind. But at this moment, there was an electricity in the air and Rodrigo’s inquisitive mind was surging. So many details to consider and questions to answer.

“Hey Reggie, how long’ll it take the rocket-men to get to Earth?”

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Welcome to MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where I rummage through the entertainment-debris that’ll be occupying my mind during the workweek. Your task is to hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be doing to survive the 9-5 life. It’s like a show-and-tell cocktail with a nerdcore garnish.

C’mon, let’s give each other some bad ideas.

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Mike Patton is scoring a Ryan Gosling flick. This is going to push me into full, stark-raving dude-crush bliss. There’s a God, he knows who I am gay for, and he is pushing them together for my glory.

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I am madly in love with Ryan Gosling – the vat grown ovaries are coming my true love, wait for me to install them!, wait! – and Drunk History has always made me laugh. The combination of those two and more  in DH’s take on The Night Before Christmas” is gold.

Hit the jump for the video. Ya turkey.

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Stop me if you’ve heard this story before. An idealistic asshole takes up a campaign only to be ground down into a scabby, hateful douchebag of malaise. It’s a trope as old as dirt, as desiccated as the political foundation that it ridiculous. This is the tale of Ides of March, a tale that succeeds partly because of the truthfulness of the tale. Partly because of the excellent acting. Mostly because it’s a gorgeous proxy for the viewer to nod their head to, leaving the theater commenting on “how true it is”, vicariously critiquing the state of things for a moment before going home to reality television, saccharine sweets and processed cheese products.

It lets us vent our angst at the bullshit that is our sociocultural predicament before going on with our lives.

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DRIVE continues to get closer and closer to a release date, and with that comes a jittery excitement in my bones. Here’s a Russian poster for the flick. Just to keep us glazed with yes-ness.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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A lot of the minds behind OL have a serious crush on Ryan Gosling and  director  Nicolas Winding Refn. While the Coops has long since known Refn was legit, Rendar and myself were recently converted via Bronson. So while I don’t make a habit of posting posters for random movies, fuck it. Here’s the French poster for Drive.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Oh hell yes.

One of my favorite young directors right now is Dane Nicolas Winding Refn. Out the gate he wrote and directed the brutally beautiful Pusher Trilogy, which he followed up with Bronson. I was rather unimpressed with 2009’s Valhalla Rising – lengthy shots of nature doesn’t equal “atmosphere” in my book.

But all is redeemed thanks to this two-minute clip from Refn’s first Hollywood outing: Drive. Premiering at Cannes this year, Drive stars Ryan Gosling as a professional getaway driver. Yes please. Judging by this short, tense clip, it’s going to be some really exciting shit and a worthy homage to classic car flicks like Vanishing Point and The Driver.

Watch the clip here and let’s pray this gets a big release.