Man. The Donkey Kong competition has been raging for as long as OL has existed. For much, much longer than the space-ship has been in orbit, in fact. The news regarding the game and whomever reigns supreme often rises and falls in intensity. It’s been quiet for a while until this week, when the record was broken twice in one fucking day.

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A ne-ne-ne-new champion has conquered the Donkey Kong ring. Smashing barrels, buckets, steel-chairs, and unsavory, sharp objects into the souls of previous Donkey Kong high-score holders. His name is Robbie Lakeman. But you can call him the King of Kong! Get it? Like the movie! I’M SO CHEESY.

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