#May2021

Weekend Open Bar: Party Out In The Desert (Heat)

Classes are finally fucking over, my friends! Sure, I got some tutoring and some grading to do, but that shit is small potatoes. Stick a couple of them in my ass and send me into the desert! I don’t care. Ain’t no problem. I’ll return to you later in the day with some glazed baked potatoes and an impish grin! But legit, it feels fucking good to have a few weeks off before the Summer Semester cranks up! Cranks out. Cranks…off?

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Weekend Open Bar: Cynthia Rothrock and Roll

weekend open bar - cynthia rothrock and roll

Motherfuckers it’s the weekend, and that can only mean one thing. Fucking time to pop off our pants, turn off our motherfucking Ring Lights (if you’re a remote teacher like me), and get high as hell! You know, relax! Put on a good horror flick, stretch your gullet beyond reasonable measurement, and fucking gorge!

Pizza! Martial arts flicks! Dead Cells! Diarrhea!

Seriously though, you sublime bitches. Let’s gather! It’s time, my fellow Degenerates of the Round Table! The Bar is Open, my mood is good thanks to sunshine and a 48-siesta, and my heart throbs for you! Yes, for you!

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Weekend Open Bar: Yeah Sure, Stick His Ass In Space

weekend open bar stick his ass in space

Yeah, sure, why not stick Jason’s ass to space?! I mean, they sent the motherfucker to “Manhattan” already. What exactly is dude going to do in space? Is it even a proper installment if Jason doesn’t smoke people while they’re fucking? Is there going to be space fucking in this movie? That’s some shit I’m going to find out this weekend, as Bags and I polish off the Friday the 13th series. So obviously, I got big fucking plans this weekend.

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