Review: ‘Modern Warfare 3’. It’ll Bang Your Mom While You Cheer!

Looking at video games like a high school class, we see all the tribes are represented.   You have the Jocks, sports games.   You have the artsy kids, Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Okami.   You have the music section with Rock band and similar music titles.   You have the nerds with their RPGs.   And finally we come to the FPS genre.   These are like the jock’s jocks.   They are the inner circle of meatheads that control their respective flocks.   Where does this leave Call of Duty?   It’s the captain of the wrestling team; all aggressive and arrogant.

Call of Duty is more than a game.   Its an institution.   Gamers come in shapes and sizes, and one thing they have in common is an opinion of the greatest selling franchise in history.   Love it or hate it, Call of Duty is here, and its here to bang your sister, steal your girlfriend, break up your parents, foreclose on your house and other seemingly douchebag things, and you will thank CoD for it.

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Masked Robbers Steal 6,000 Copies of ‘Modern Warfare 3’.

There’s an impressive impatience when it comes to Modern Warfare 3. People need it!  First it was folks  buying the game at Big Box Store, selling it on eBay for $1,000+. Now there’s masked robbers stealing 6,000 copies of it being stolen in an impressive heist.

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‘Modern Warfare 3’ Already Stolen From Shipping Company, Pirated.

No one actually thought that the street date for Modern Warfare 3 would arrive without its digital bites and bytes already slathered across torrent sites, right? In fact with something like ten days to go, I’m surprise it hasn’t happened before this. MW3’s on the internet. Hide yo kids, et cetera.

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Video: ‘Modern Warfare 3’ Launch Trailer. Finish The Fight, Amirite?

Modern Warfare 3. Infamous. Famous. More of the same. But what’s the problem with more of the same  when I’ve been madly in love with the first two? I can’t wait for this shit.

Hit the jump to check out the launch trailer.

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Get Double XP In ‘Modern Warfare 3’ From Mountain Dew and Doritos. No, Seriously.

Earlier today when commenting on the demise of the creator of Doritos, I remarked that they formed a perfect synergy with Mountain Dew. An unbreakable teflon bond that empowers the geek who smashes together the two ingredients. And in a bit of marketing genius/horror, both the products will allow you to double your XP in Modern Warfare 3.

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Modern Warfare 3 ‘Hardened Edition’ To Include Year-long Elite Membership. Hmm.

The details for Modern Warfare 3’s ‘Hardened Edition’ have leaked, and for $80 you can snag yourself a long list of bullshit. Something  that may make it worth purchasing for me however is the year-long subscription to Call of Duty: Elite.

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ModernWarfare3.com Redirects To Official Battlefield 3 Website. Amazing.

Activision and EA are going at one another big this winter. Battlefield 3 is getting released around the same time as Modern Warfare 3, in a direct challenge of CoD’s sales dominance. Some interesting side-battle cropped up this week. You see, ModernWarfare3.com now redirects the surfer to the official Battlefield 3 website.

Corporate slap fight!

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‘Modern Warfare 3’ To Have Color-Blind Assist Option. This Helps Me. Srsly.

I’m color-blind. Not in that retarded “I see in black and white” sort of thing I sometimes get. Not that. However, I can’t tell a lot of colors apart. Greens from browns, browns from reds, that sort of bullshit. So quite often, I have a very difficult time trying to figure out who I should be shooting in games like ‘Modern Warfare’. It appears  Sledgehammer Games has revealed there will be help for people like me in Modern Warfare 3.

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Press Start!: It’s E3. Gimmicky Controllers, TVs, and Franchises.

Press Start!, the week of E3. There was a time when E3 was a wondrous occasion. Those days are gone now, like leaves from a tree. With the advent of the Internet, everything is known weeks prior. Secrets exposed, dissected. Shit is passé before it’s even revealed. Take for example Nintendo’s Wii U. While I’ll admit that seeing any new console in motion gets me up, it would have truly blown my asshole out if they could have kept the entirety of it secret until the conference.

With that in mind, let us not spend the entirety of our fleeting brain-focus-capacities on regurgitating the quasi-reveals and appreciable moments of the Big Three at the show. Let us instead turn our ADD-addled brains towards shooting the shit about the show. Deal? Press Start!’s usual conceit is pressed pause in   lieu of some geek spit.

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More ‘Call of Duty Elite’ Details, This Service Is The Future. Better Or Worse.

The premium Call of Duty service is official, after rumor and cloaks and daggers. Its confirmation signals much consternation from a lot of fans, myself included. Whatever the grousing this much is true: Call of Duty Elite is the future. The culmination of a slow gaming galactic boil that has finally gone supernova, and its coming to gobble us up. Gobble! Gobble gobble!

With new details coming out, again, it is clear. Call of Duty Elite is the future. For better or worse.

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