#April2021

Rumor: Hideo Kojima in talks with Microsoft to publish his next game. The company is not fucking around!

microsoft publishing hideo kojima next game

Buried in the news today regarding whether or not Abandoned is a Hideo Kojima game (it’s not) is a larger nugget to chew on. Apparently, Microsoft is pushing hard to land a deal to publish Kojima’s next game. Man, that would be a huge fucking get for the Xbox Ecosystem!

Hit the jump for the news, and also the easter-eggy photo that fans think confirms it.

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Microsoft has rebranded Xbox Live as Xbox Network for dumb and silly reasons!

microsoft xbox live xbox network

Listen, at the end of the day I don’t give two flying fucks about what Xbox Live is called. Is that because I’m always going to call it Xbox Live? Yup! But if you’re concerned about accuracy, motherfucker, it’s called Xbox Network now. K!

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Xbox Chief says Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” and maybe my Xbox Series X will get turned on!

xbox bethesda exclusive games

As a gaming glutton, I received the Xbox Series X for Christmas. You know, after already owning a PlayStation 5. However, the motherfucker has sort of just sat there, awaiting exclusive games worth playing. I had a hunch they’d arrive eventually, given the impending Bethesda deal. Now? Now I officially know. Today, the motherfucking Microsoft Czar Phil Spencer confirmed the Bethesda deal is going to deliver “great exclusive games” which is equal parts not surprising and awesome news. For me.

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Microsoft confirms some future Bethesda games will be Xbox and PC exclusive. Fucking obviously.

microsoft confirms future bethesda games exclusive

Microsoft has confirmed what should have been fucking obvious. Namely, some future Bethesda games will be exclusive to XBOX and PC. You don’t spend fucking $7.5 billion to give PlayStation all your dope games.

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Microsoft’s $7.5 billion purchase of Bethesda parent company ZeniMax approved by US and EU regulators. Actually interesting exclusives incoming?

microsoft zenimax acquisition approved

Microsoft’s gotten the green light to buy the fuck out of Bethesda’s parent company, ZeniMax. I think we all sort of thought it was a fait accompli, but now that shit is really happening. And with it? My god! Could, could Microsoft actually have some interesting exclusives? Finally?

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Microsoft is buying Bethesda and now owns ‘Doom’, ‘Fallout’, ‘Elder Scrolls’, ‘Wolfenstein’ and a shitload of other titles.

microsoft buying bethesda

Mamma mia! Microsoft is buying Bethesda, motherfuckers. And now the company owns, like, an insane amount of renowned franchises. I’d say shots fired in the fucking console wars, but it seems clear Microsoft is more interested in their GamePass subscription service.

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Microsoft reveals the Xbox Series X boot screen animation; as well as its 2020 plans

xbox series x boot screen

Microsoft has dropped its Xbox Series X boot screen. And yes, I fucking get excited about this sort of shit. As well, the company has laid out its 2020 road map.

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Microsoft is planning second next-gen Xbox that’s cheaper and has no disc drive. Different models GET!

Friends, Microsoft’s carrying their multi-model console approach over into the next generation. It’s leaked out that the company ain’t just dropping their beefy, all-powerful next-gen console. Nope! Nope. Additionally, they’re going to be less powerful model, sans disc drive, for less cheddar.  It makes sense! I’m going all-in on the outrageously powerful model. But, it makes sense.

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Microsoft bringing back Xbox All Access bundles with Project Scarlett upgrade included in one. G’damn that’s gotta be tempting for some!

microsoft all access project scarlett

Microsoft is bringing back its All Access bundle. The motherfucker is essentially the same as a cell phone subsidization or whatever — you pay as little as $19.99 a month for 24-months. In return? You get a console, XBL, and Xbox Game Pass. But, wait, there’s more! If you choose to opt into the Xbox One X bundle? You’ll get a free upgrade to Project Scarlett next year.

Pretty fucking dope deal, no?

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Microsoft ain’t working on a streaming-only Xbox, despite what we all heard this year. Personally? I don’t give a shit.

microsoft not streaming xbox

Friends, the streaming revolution ain’t arriving as soon as we expected. Sure, Google has revealed Stadia. But, neither Sony nor Microsoft is ready to go in dick-first. At least not quite yet. This isn’t a surprise on Sony’s part. However, everyone was readying themselves at E3 for Microsoft’s Big Streaming Reveal. And that shit didn’t happen, and apparently won’t be anytime soon.

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