‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ had a better launch than any ‘Mario’ or ‘Zelda’ game ever and holy fuck

animal crossing new horizons launch mario zelda

Holy shit, Animal Crossing: New Horizons had a better launch than any Mario or Zelda game. Ever. My word, you fuckers really like this franchise!

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‘No Mario’s Sky’ is a playable game; better than Hello Games’ Effort?


Incendiary, bullshit title. First that popped to mind, though. So whatever. Give me money and I’ll give you genuine effort in these headlines (no I won’t).

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Report: Nintendo NX getting Mario and Pokemon games in its Launch Window


What I learned today: a “launch window” is a six-month period after a console launches. What I learned today: the Nintendo NX is getting both Mario and Pokemon titles within its launch window. What I learned today: shit maybe I’ll be getting a Nintendo NX.

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Art: “Badass Mario” ready to suplex the bejesus out of Bowser and his minions

Watch: Mario remade in Unreal Engine 4 is uncanny, gorgeous, uncomfortable

We’ve come a long way baby, #FatBoySlim, whatever.

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Nintendo developing mobile games! with DeNA, also tease new hardware

Shigeru Miyamoto.

Nintendo is partnering with DeNA to develop mobile games. The fuck: it ain’t going to be porting nothing, just creating new content. They also teased new hardware, codenamed “NX.” The fuck: I just bought a fucking Wii U!

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Butcher Billy mashes up MARIO with SID & NANCY for gorgeous ANARCHY


Fuck yeah! The new Butcher Billy jam is here, and this time he is taking his talents to anarchy. The pop-cultural remixing maestro has exorcised the glimmer of the Mushroom Kingdom from Mario’s soul, replacing the sheen with a gritty Sid & Nancy vibe. The winners? All of us.

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BOWSER is PEACHY [Inky Charland]


Need that perfect Valentine’s Day gift?  How about matching Bowser and Peach tattoos.  Fellas, nothing says I love you like ghosts, fireballs, and castles.  Ladies, there’s nothing that gets out fires lit like old 8-bit nostalgia.

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Watch: Super Mario Bros. 1-1 recreated in ‘MINECRAFT.’ Oh, that game.

I don’t get you, Minecraft. But I want to. Oh, I so do. I don’t get how someone created Super Mario Bros. 1-1 within your walls, but that doesn’t matter. It is still damn impressive.

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Press Start: Nintendo Hamburger Hangover

Nintendo are keen on poking the bear this week. For the purposes of this metaphor I shall be playing the bear and the poking stick is represented by the recent glut of Wii U announcements. They’re poking me into a fevered state where I suddenly find myself compelled to pre-order a brand new console and then feel dirty about it afterwards. I have some genuine soul-searching to do.

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