Weekend Open Bar: Just trying to live my life as a decent (Hawk)guy


It’s the Weekend, man. Which means the Bar is Open! I’m feeling particularly relaxed this weekend. Most of this relaxation is due in part to the momentary lull in the Maelstrom that is Home Ownership. Purchase and Sale: signed. House appraisal by the bank: done. Now it’s merely a thousand or so documents to be faxed by us to the Corporate Overlords, and awaiting the official closing. Additionally, my summer class is winding down. Just one more week, and ain’t no teaching taking place during it (not my choice, but I will not complain about not having to lesson plan until September). So life is good. Relaxed, I dare say. So yeah, weekend is lining up to be a enjoyable: some Lucha Underground, some DVR purging, some time with Bae. Pizza, obviously.

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Key and Peele’s ‘Substitute Teacher’ sketch becoming movie courtesy of Paramount

Mr. Garvey

Catching up on the news I didn’t get around to talking about this week: Paramount is bringing the Key and Peele sketch ‘Substitute Teacher’ to the big screen. And while I’m stoked that K&P are getting their due, I’m not sure about the viability of a movie based off of Mr. Garvey.

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Monday Morning Commute: Oblivion Ain’t Bad With A Loved One

Hand in Hand | Heart to Heart

Hello friends. Humanoids. Martians. Sentient cups of coffee. Pythons with overdeveloped cerebral systems courtesy of Nazi experiments still being conducted on the Far Side of the Dark Side of the Forgotten Moon of Jupiter, Rapture. If you’re reading this, I implore you to join in this wonderful column-based activity. Monday Morning Commute. The place where us Conscious Piles of Organic, Inorganic, and Unidentifiable Matter gather and share what we’re digging on during a given week.

I’ll go first, then you share your weekly beloveds.

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Weekend Open Bar: Let’s Get Weird


It’s the Weekend! That can only mean one thing! Exerting a feigned since of self-autonomy through consumption and reproduction! The Man can’t hold us down! Not as long as we eat shitty food, buy shitty baubles, and consume shitty entertainment they engineer to distract us! Ha! Fuck you, The Man! And as a final, fleeting mechanism for self-actualization, we will gather here in the Weekend Open Bar.

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