#August2016
Watch: Eleven confronts ‘Kanye Things’ in the Upside Down
hey bruh bruh @kanyewest is pretty scary inside @stranger_things thanks @mtv bruh bruh #vmas hey bruh bruh pic.twitter.com/cj8CdD2o5E
— Dominick Nero (@filminick) August 29, 2016
Well then. I applaud this.
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Watch: Deadpool explains why he won’t host ‘SNL’, spoofs Kanye’s Rant
Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool aren’t going anywhere, despite the fact (or perhaps due to the fact) that the movie is already released, and making absurd amounts of ducats. The actor-character-actor-metameta has responded to an online petition asking the character-actor-character-metameta to host SNL, spoofing Kanye’s epic rant from last week.
Watch: Kanye West reveals his video game, ‘Only One: The Game’
I. Uh. I. Uhhh.
Monday Morning Commute: Trickle Down Cybernetics
How are you folks doing? Man — it’s been a minute since I sat down at my computer. Or, I suppose, sat my laptop down upon me. Spent the weekend hanging out with friends, slinging insane amounts of caffeine into my veins. Watching grown men throw balls into the air while I bark at them nonsensically. Imbuing the frivolities with so much importance, way too much importance, playing right into the distractionary hands of The Powers That Be.
But hey. It’s with friends. There are probably worse ways to spend the weekend than eating too much, farting too much, laughing too much, and the such, right? Even if the macguffin is SportEvent.
Anyways — now that I am at my computer, I shall compose this. Monday Morning Commute!
BRET EASTON EllIS wrote a movie for KANYE WEST. Clash of the D-Bags.
I love Bret Easton Ellis. I used to love Kanye West. They’re both what I consider talented. They’re also both what I consider to me immeasurably large douchebags. One writing a movie for the other? Hoo boy.
TRAPPINGS OF FAME: Kanye West, Serena Williams, Common
Taking my nascent career in journalism seriously, I wanted to report some experiences in my life until I either get sued or I get blackballed for being “press”; whichever comes first. In my first expedition, I serve up a behind the scenes look at Rapper/Actor Common’s private 40th birthday party, celebrated in Park City, Utah two weeks ago. I was there, and so were you, right after the jump.
Rumor: Kanye West As Creative Director Of The ‘Jetsons’ Movie? Of Course.
Kanye West! Creative Director of the Jetsons movie? Makes total sense. In a world where nothing makes sense such as we inhabit.
Monday Morning Commute: Raps, Bats, and Brews
Hello there, my name is Rendar Frankenstein and I am a real science fictional being. Living in the year 2010, I am endowed with a number of futuristic powers, including instantaneous global communication, access to digital television, and the ability to ward off disease with a pill. I have a portable computer and after I consume enough caffeine it extracts stories from me.
I feel sorry for the chronically nostalgic.
Monday Morning Commute. With the workweek rearing its ugly head, we all need movies, books, music, comics and other distractions to stay strong. On Mondays I’m going to tell you about the various ways I’ll be spending my time in the upcoming week. Give my list a glance, then tell me what you’re using to curb the 9-5 blues.
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Listening / My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
I have had a real up-and-down relationship with Kanye West. On the one hand, his first three efforts (The College Dropout, Late Registration, and Graduation) are three of my all-time favorite albums. But 2008’s 808s and Heartbreak was a truly depressing collection, as it not only demonstrated the fickle nature of inspiration but the public’s mindset of putting the cart before the horse. Then, of course, there is the fact that Mr. West has serious mental problems and is an arrogant bastard.
Wednesday – If You’re Mad At Kanye But You Cried Over Michael Jackson, You’re An Idiot.
The way everyone is going nuts about Kanye West you’d think he was caught molesting children.
Oh wait.
We don’t lash into child molesters, now do we? Well, I mean we do. But not ones that didn’t make a significant contribution to the pop industry, molest countless boys and bribe their parents, and perform surgery after surgery on themselves until they look like an unrecognizable monster from my dreams.
I’ve found the past week to be generally disappointing for a humanity I don’t have much faith in already. The pervasiveness of Kanyegate is staggering. It’s everywhere. Twitter updates. Facebook status updates. On the news. On the radio.
Who the fuck cares. Why the fuck cares! Who the fuck cares?
I find it particularly saddening that a dude crashes the stage of a shitty pop infomercial and it brings hell down upon him. Of course he acted like a goddamn schmuck. Is that really debatable? He apologizes a day later and it ain’t good enough. No way. No how.
Why?
Because you’re being told you’re supposed to be outraged. It’s a convenient little bit of fast-food pop-news to keep the fat docile populace from really thinking about anything worth fucking mentioning.
Then there’s Michael Jackson. A man commits a laundry list of sex crimes against little boys and he’s lauded as Pop Jesus. The way people cried and cried and oh-my-gosh-I-can’t-believe-he-died sentiment that was vomited across the walls of media was disgusting.
What the fuck is going on here? How is it that a guy who crashed the gate of a Shit Castle becomes a public enemy, while another pop-star can get away from having children fondle his nipples.
It’s insanity in motion.
People’s memories have become so tailored by the exertion of the media it’s absurd. Newscast after newscast told everyone, you’re supposed to be sad, Michael died! Oh my gosh Michael died! No, not Michael! The world’s only lost a child-molesting pill-popper! How are we ever going to cope? Who is going to cure AIDS? Who is going to solve cancer? Who is going to create the ultimate renewable energy?
More importantly, who is going to be a sexual threat to our children?
