Opinions Vary: Jorts Are True Ultimate Power


It’s summer, friends. That can only mean one thing. It’s time for people to shed their long-legged genital containers in lieu of something sexier. More airy. Let the wind-flow, to at least attempt to keep the uncomfortable grime from building up against their sex-parts. ‘Cause while you may have your fetish, I don’t like being tongue-deep in testiclelabial grime when I’m pleasin’ my mates across the Universes.

Some will wear skirts. Some will wear kilts. Some will wear shorts. All of those errant people are incorrect. There is only one path to true ultimate power. Only one path to true ultimate enlightenment.¬†You see, wearing Jorts isn’t just about being comfortable. And sexy. Though it is about both. It’s about the very Fate of Our Universes.

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I don’t watch wrestling, but I may need to start. I know The Rock is back, and just today I had this video emailed to me from Patrick Bateman OL’s programmer and resident sociopath. I genuinely enjoy Brock Lesnar as a super-douche hyper-real humanoid character, and I’ve always wanted to lay a stink on John Cena for ruining one of the greatest things in the world: jorts.

Hit the jump to watch Lesnar blast the choad with a ferocity unmatched by anywhere the seven winds cover.

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