Man. I like, I don’t know anything about DC’s Suicide Squad. But the cast for the movie has been announced and it is fucking crazy. Like, off-the-walls, babbling incoherently, vomiting gleefully on your Nana crazy. And I mean that in a good way.
I don’t know why, but the idea of Jared Leto playing The Joker does the seemingly impossible for me. It makes me actually care about something going on in the DC cinematic universe. I know — I know — I’m probably alone.
Can’t just take a nice fucking Friday night off, eh? The Internet refuses to Stop. Like I’m trying to eat dinner and get ready to hang out with Rendar and this shit drops. Whatever. Okay. Jared Leto as Joker. What do you think? 1,2,3, go! I’m down with it.
I must scream ignorance when it comes to Edgar Ramirez. According to his IMDB profile, I’ve seen him in Zero Dark Thirty. I just can’t recall him. However, Ramirez has lit the Rumor Mill Torch and sent it screaming down the halls of pop culture today. The actor said in a recent interview that he is talking about playing a role in Dr. Strange. Whatever the fuck that means. Oh! And in case your gossip gullet wasn’t completely full with probably baseless rumor, how about some more Jared Leto speculation! TOO?!
Oh god. Prometheus. Oh lord. Not only does it exist and it happened and I paid for it, but now it’s threatening to infect the Marvel Movie Universe. The writer of the movie’s first draft is now tackling Dr. Strange. Here’s hoping the Blight on the Face of The Alien Franchise happened after the good sir contributed his draft. I’m staring hatefully at you, Damon Lindelof.
I feel like Jared Leto.
And I don’t mean the Jared Leto from last nite’s Academy Awards. No, that one was all about having beautiful long-ass hair. And usin’ his victory speech to pay tribute to his Mahma. And bein’ all dappered out, white tuxedo beamin’ contrasts off his spray-tan.
I don’t feel like that Jared Leto.
And hell, I don’t feel like 30 Seconds to Mars Jared Leto, neither. Y’know that one, right? Yeah, exactly, the Jared Leto that somehow learned to play guitar and be all frontman-like while figuing out how to live his so-called life. What’s that? Yeah, this Jared Leto is also known as Ride a Bicycle in the Middle of Goddamn Street Without a Helmet Jared Leto.
Nope, I ain’t that sort of Jared Leto.
Today, I feel like good `ole fashioned Fight Club Jared Leto. The Jared Leto who, for a moment, is really happy that he’s pretty and blonde and surrounded by some peers. This Jared Leto is all, “Check it, I can fight too, dudes! First rule is — oh wait, can’t say it! Ha! Get it?! Kawaii!” Everything is pretty sweet.
Quite frankly, I’m feeling the grind of the workweek and life responsibilities and my own mortality and the fact that it’s been goddamn months since I’ve sat down with a stack of comic books. Allow me to wax philosophic. Wax misanthropic. Wax bitter tonic.
Wax Jared Leto.
But alas! Right here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m goin’ to show you some of the buoys I’ll be hopin’ to cling to as I avoid getting washed out into the deepest depths of the Bullshit Sea! Then, you hit up the comments and share your own ideas! Let’s do this!