#December2015
Watch: Stream Xbox One games to Microsoft’s own HoloLens glasses
The future of augmented reality! Is! Surfing the slick Internet as a Console Cowboy! Or! No! It’s playing Halo 5 on the toilet as you rip a gnarly Doritos-and-Dew dump, courtesy of the HoloLens glasses adoring your cool, cool face.
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Monday Morning Commute: Carla Got A Good Deal On Her Third DigiMeat
Monday Morning Commute! I’m ailing. Single-parenting the dog this week while Sam-Omega is on location for work. Monday Morning Commute! So I ain’t sleeping, and I’m brute forcing this camaraderie-inducing column before I side-tilt and collapse-drool while watching football. Monday Morning Commute!
The weekly column where we gather here on Space-Ship OMEGA, and share what is getting us through the work week. Be it movies we are anticipating, albums we’re rocking to, funny books that are dropping on Wednesday.
Share! Share what’s on your existential plate. I will, too.
Weekend Open Bar: Go Van Gogh on a house rat!
It’s the freakin’ Weekend, baby! Halloween Weekend, to be exact! Slice your flesh-sack, provide the blood to the altar! Summon a wonderful fucking weekend for yourself, and the other denizens of the Perpetually Decaying Universe! Entropy! Ain’t nothing more fucking terrifying than that! But we’re here! We’re here, together! So let’s hang out at the Open Bar!
Monday Morning Commute: Reality Is A (Thin) Membrane!
Come one, come all, into Monday Morning Commute. The one-stop weekly existential circle jerk for everyone: from degenerates, to sinful nuts. From scholars, to scatalogical 7-Eleven workers. I want you all. Staring into the Cosmos, I bellow. Give me your perverted, give me your poor. Your despondent, your determined, your omni-dimensional, poly-sexual, pan-physical space lords. I want you all, so long as you follow the faintly scrawled rules upon the walls of this residence– the pop culture geek lord glory hole in the stank bathroom of the Internet. First, you listen to what I’m looking forward to this week. Second, you respond in kind, sharing your own anticipations and musings, so long as you follow the golden rule: god damn it, you’ve got to be kind.
‘Halo 5: Guardians’ Opening Cinematic: Nathan Fillion’s Spartan Race
Truthfully, I ain’t watching this. I know it’s somewhat contradictory, since I seem to indulge in every spoiler ever. But, I don’t know. Why watch an out-of-context opening cinematic for a game I’m sweating? I can wait the less-than-two-months. How about you? Are you going to peep this cinematic? Are you going to play Halo 5?
‘Halo 5’ hitting Xbox One on October 27. This is a (master) chief opportunity for Microsoft
GET IT? Master chief opportunity? Cause it looks like fucking Halo 5 is the only AAA, console-exclusive title actually making its 2015 release date! SHIT PUNS.
Next ‘HALO’ dropping this year. Teabag your bro with glee.
My XB1 is neat. Sitting there. Talking to me. Being like “Hey man, Kinect’s scanning your dong. Telling people six inches? LOL c’mon braj know thyself. The truth will get you free.” However outside of scanning my minuscule weiner it isn’t doing much. But if it can stay strong for the next few months, it appear it’ll be getting some Master Chief action later this year.
Current ‘HALO TRILOGY is actually a ‘SAGA.’ UH OKAY BUZZ WORDS!!!
Did you think that Halo 4 was the beginning of a trilogy? You fucking dullard. Trilogies are so 2000s. Now we are into the realm of the amorphous saga. Whatever the fuck that means. How do I interpret it? I take it to make a license to expand ceaselessly into the future, without having to justify story arcs and all that superfluous silliness.
