Omega Plays: Dead Cells – The Pros and Cons of Crapping Your Pants, Obviously.

‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters’ Trailer: Earth is Godzilla’s world and I’m cool with it

Here’s a new Godzilla: King of the Monsters trailer! It announces that the motherfucker is the ruler of Earth, and I’m completely cool with the idea.

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‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters’ Trailer: Check out some seriously gnarly monster mayhem

You want some fucking monster mayhem in your Godzilla: King of the Monsters trailer? Bro, you got some monster mayhem.

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Bradley Whitford has joined ‘Godzilla: The King of the Monsters’

bradley whitford godzilla the king of the monsters

Bradley Whitford has joined Godzilla: The King of the Monsters. Is this movie going to be good? I don’t know! But I liked Godzilla. Is this movie going to be good? I don’t know! But I love Bradley Whitford.

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Gareth Edwards

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BUY A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN AT STOP & SHOP WITH NEWS LIKE THIS BREAKING? One minute I leave the house. Then I’m on my phone AND STAR WARS-SHIT IS BLOWING UP. Had to punch an old lady in the kidney to get through the doors faster. FART IN A FUCKING LITTLE KID’S FACE to cut the self-checkout. But here I am. Telling you this: Gareth Edwards is in charge of the first Star Wars movie. NOW CAN I COOK MY FUCKING BROCCOLI? Edwards? Love or hate Godzilla, he has a gorgeous eye. The writer for this standalone flick? Fucking gross.

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Monday Morning Commute: Your Groin My Hero


Oh Shit! Caff-Pow up in your cereal! Eating allllllllllllllllll the fucking marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, and you’ll like it! Anyways so yeah it appears that Rendar is still locked in the fucking bathroom or something. His cock stuck, somehow simultaneously sizzling and dripping, in his Ryan Gosling plushie. So it’s me. You. And our choices for Monday Morning Commute. The rundown on what we’re looking forward to this week.

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Tuesday Morning Commute: Reality is a Glitch


Hey friends. Tuesday Morning Commute! in the house. The column where we share the various nonsense that is getting us through the grind of a given week. Speaking of grinds — sorry for the lack of updates. And the tardiness of this column. Last week of the semester is a wonderful sprint through existence. Pubes on fire. Covered in anxiety-vomit. Praying for a better world. The good news is that starting next week you’re going to be way stuck with me for four months.

This is what I’m digging.

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Here’s some FUCKING GODZILLA GOODNESS by OL favorite BRANDON GRAHAM. Go here for more of his madcap-genius-time.

New ‘GODZILLA’ Clip: Let Them Fight!

let them fight!

Okay so yeah this clip pretty much confirms that there is going to be some Godzilla versus Other Big Monster Fuckers action in the new flick. And that!, my friends!, has my geek dick!, hard! (My regular dick stopped getting hard after the Slurpee Machine Accident of 1997.)

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roaring roar

So if I’m interpreting this latest gnarly trailer correctly, Godzilla is going to do a Face turn in this movie? Be relied upon to beat some Kaiju ass?

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