Dave Bautista as Marcus Fenix? Motherfuckers, we have finally found a way to get me to care about the Gears of War movie. Which means, of course, this will never happen. And I mean, they would never do this, but imagine if it was a super self-aware, tongue-in-cheek homage to 1980s action movies? Like 21 Jump Street for bro action. It could be so good, especially with his comedic chops.

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Microsoft and Universal are teaming up to bring Gears of War to the big screen. Which makes sense. Since it’s essentially a fucking Fast and Furious franchise with chainsaw guns and monsters. I’m down.

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