#March2015
‘Batman: Arkham Knight’ dropping June 2, 2015. Holy Bat-Delay
We all knew that Batman: Arkham Knight was delayed until next year. But then came the rumor that it was going to drop in January. Which okay sure is 2015, but it ain’t the end of the world. Well, guess the fuck what. That rumor is as true as Justice and Everlasting Peace. A fucking pipe dream. Bat-Guy: Arkham Night ain’t dropping until the middle of next year.
Amazon buying Twitch for $970 f**king million
Bet you thought Google had all that Twitch goodness tied-up, didn’t you? I certainly did, especially with Twitch’s new policies and shit smacking of draconian YouTube bullshit. But it appears that a new ch-ch-challenger has entered the capitalist arena, with Amazon winning the rights to Twitch. For $970 fucking million.
Sony thinking about PlayStation 4 early access program
For the past couple of weeks, Bateman, Rendar, and I have been rocking BroForce on Steam. It is not a finished game. However, it is awesome. So long as you take it with a grain of salt, recognizing that it is in-progress. So knowing what love I have for the early title, I’m more than stoked that Sony is thinking of offering a a similar program.
NO DUH: Cliff Bleszinski’s new game is a F2P arena shooter
So Cliffy B’s new game has been revealed. Announced. And…? It’s a free-to-play arena shooter. Not too surprising. Considering Dude fucking Huge dropped months ago that he wanted to work on…a F2P arena shooter. Still though. Color me excited. (It’s boner-stretching pink. That’s the hue you use on me for excited.)
E3 2014: ‘ZELDA WII U’ Gamplay Trailer: Turbo-Boner Nostalgia Hysteria
I don’t even know what the fuck to to say to you if you’re not down with this Zelda Wii-Wii-And-Me-And-U footage. It’s more or less the most taint-glazing batch of fanboy gameplay eroticism that Nintendo has trotted out since the original Super Mario Galaxy reveal in 1932. I say GODDAMN. Deliver me unto 2015.
E3 2014: ‘THE ORDER: 1886’ Trailer: Delayed Steampunk Swoon
I was pretty butt hurt when I first heard The Order: 1869-24-Numbers was getting delayed. Rubbing my dumper and muttering “Fucking DelayStation, yeha~~!” like the cool haters. But after watching this trailer last night, I’m all like. Oh. Shit. Take your time. This is looking wonderful. Rub it. Stroke it. To a glimmer. Nay, to a blinding sheen.
THE FUTURE: EA nearing deal to STREAM GAMES TO COMCAST TVS
Fuck ya’ll! And fuck ya’ll gaming consoles! That’s what Electronic Arts and Comcast are saying, as they near a deal to stream EA games. It’s the Future, yo. It’s getting weird. And I’m liking it.
Sony announces “PROJECT MORPHEUS” VR Headset.
Sony has revealed their VR headset, dubbed “Project Morpheus.” Maybe I’m just old and showing my age, but I don’t really get up for this. If sitting in front of a video game isn’t already a Dystopia Made Real, completely detaching from others in your own house and rummaging around a virtual world seems a final consummation. On the other hand though, gimme the Black Sun from Snow Crash (my usual refrain).
Troll pretends to be Ubisoft; CANCELS ‘WATCH DOGS’ trademark. Hardcore++
Oh man. This is some next level trolling ish right here. Some dude or dudette pretended to be Ubisoft, and at least temporarily/successfully filed to cancel their trademark for Watch Dogs. Shout out to this person before they’re assuredly ushered off to some communal CorporoGulag on the dark side of the Moon. Your penchant for destruction and anarchy is probably only going to be matched in size by your pain at the hand of robo-hounds and psychic ninjas.
