Listen, does Hasbro need a cinematic universe? Fucking of course not! But, does their assembling of an absurd of amount of talent to bring this universe to life get me intrigued? Fucking of course!
The creator for G.I. Joe passed away on Thursday. While I never knew the good sir Donald Levine by name, what he unleashed on the world has certainly sculpted my grey matter to some extent. From a young age I’ve been certain that knowing was half the battle, and have wandered aimlessly, anxiously, despairingly, wondering what the fuck the other half was.
I used to love cartoons. What happened? Did I grow up? Did I turn into a fun hating ogre? I just think that most cartoons today suck. There’s a few here and there that I love (Venture Brothers, South Park), but for the most part, I don’t like them. My friends always joke that I never had a childhood. They make assumptions that I was always the cynical dick that I present myself as. Well, to throw a wrench in their plans, here are my favorite 5 cartoon shows from when I was a child.
Well, dummy-pants, they are all the product of unlikely – but wonderful – collaborations!
At the beer-market today, a delivery-dude saw me scouring the shelves for the perfect inebriator. “Hey kid,” he said, “give this a try. It’s a team-up between Sierra and Dogfish.” He then handed me a bottle of Life and Limb and dispersed into an ethereal gray, drifting into a nether-realm, awaiting the next opportunity to help a beer-drinker in need.