#June2019

‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is going to take up two Blu-Ray discs. And that’s just the first installment, my dudes

final fantasy vii remake two blu ray discs

After watching the FFVII Remake reveal, I still have no idea if I’m feeling it or not. Is the combat going to be fun? Or just splashy garbage? Is breaking it up into installments a good idea, or a cash grab? I don’t know, I don’t know. What I do know is that the first installment itself is going to be enormous.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is dropping March 3, 2020. It’s really real, folks.

final fantasy vii remake march 2020

Damn. Did not see this coming, fucking at all. The Final Fantasy VII Remake is dropping March 3, 2020.

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Maybe: ‘Final Fantasy VII’ Remake date to be announced at E3. Dude, 2025 is gonna be fucking litttttttttttttt

final fantasy vii remake date e3

First off, the FFVII remake date being announced at E3 seems plausible. Second off, if you think they’re gonna make that announced date you’re a fucking sucker. Third off, if it’s earlier than 2020, I’m going to shit in your pants.

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Square Enix is hiring “core members” for the ‘Final Fantasy VII’ remake, in case you thought it actually existed by now

final fantasy vii remake hiring core members

The Final Fantasy VII remake is, at best, coming in ten years as a broken and underwhelming game. This is despite the fact that it was announced a thousand years ago, and has been “in development” since then. Oh, you need some proof? Well, how about this. The company is hiring “core members” for the title. Despite the fact that the title was announced a thousand years ago.

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‘Final Fantasy VII’ remake now being done *in-house* at Square Enix, I didn’t know it hadn’t been

final fantasy vii remake in-house

Square Enix has moved development of the Final Fantasy VII remake in-house. This development underscores, for me, the fact that I had no fucking clue it wasn’t being done in-house already. But, hey! I can’t wait to play this broken ass game on the PlayStation 6 Pro, in 2025. #EasyJokes

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‘Final Fantasy VII’ getting an official Monopoly Board

‘Final Fantasy VII’ Remake will be *Three* Full Sized Games

final fantasy vii

Well. I mean, there goes our trepidation about the FFVII being a piecemeal episodic adventure. Inserted, is our fear that Square will be mining the famous title for every last piece of material, in a Hobbit-esque nightmare extrapolation. Or, we could just be excited.

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Cosplay: Gender-Swapped Vincent Valentine from ‘Final Fantasy VII’

‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ is going to be “multi-part” series. So like, episodic? Wark?

Barrrretz

Hmm. Here is a bit of a wrinkle here, to the Final Fantasy VII Remake drama. Maybe you’re one of those people not upset with the changes to the combat system (hi! I like the changes!), and you’re feeling left out. You feel like you deserve something to huff and puff and fanboy fume about, too. Well, good news, fan looking for faux-outrage to glom onto. Square has announced that the FFVII:Remake is going to be “multi-part” — and I don’t know which of the next two options I hate more.

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‘Final Fantasy VII Remake’ Gameplay Trailer: Don’t Tease Me, Bro