‘Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon’ animated series coming from ‘Castlevania’ producer and fuck I’m conflicted
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon is a wonderful little niche of retro appreciation. That said, it works because it doesn’t overstay its welcome. An animated series? Could very much be counted as overstaying its welcome. But, wait! The fucking Castlevania producer is involved? I’m…I’m listening.
My taint is ready to be slathered in bro goo and deployed back into the world of Far Cry. It’s been too long! Miss the Island. Miss the Blood Dragons. Good news for me then, that apparently the next installment of the mofuckah’ is arriving in early 2015. I can do this. I can make it.
To smash the face of your enemies is the most grand of human experiences. To drink their blood from the crystal chalice of your superiority is to achieve the pinnacle of Darwinian success. It is with this irrefutable notion in mind that I postulate the following: every fucking video game should have New Game+. Every digi-polygon experience should allow those of us who have rose up through the darkness of a Level 1, Devoid of Equipment birth to return to those who felled us at the beginning of our journey with fury. We deserve to smash their teeth with our litany of new abilities. We deserve it, god fucking dammit. We earned it.
When the cultists descend from the Mountains, they’ll find my dessicated corpse next to the Xbox 360. If they’re willing to interact with the rot-flesh, perchance they could save my game. One last final save of my Mass Effect 3 playthrough, sending the file to a cloud server that no longer heeded requests. This is the way the world ends. A landfill of forgotten files on servers, leftover Netflix subscriptions no longer churning out endless episodes of Twin Peaks. Oh, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying. This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where all us barely-evolved monkeys with keys to the Nanoverse share the things that are entertaining us on a given week. What are you partaking in this week, you turkeys?
This ain’t safe for work. When the first big reveal trailer for this game today was dubbed ‘Step into Insanity’, Ubisoft wasn’t kidding. This shit occasionally gets wild. Hit the jump for the gameplay footage from today. Naw, I don’t know what’s happening in most of this vid either, but it’s gorgeous.