#December2013

DREW GODDARD officially RUNNING THE THE ‘DAREDEVIL’ Netflix Series

Daredevil relaxes, after leaving madness behind.

Yum!, yum, yum! What be that taste? Delicious Daredevil stew! Yup! Let it roll down your gullet and into your soulll. Man, this wine is hitting me hard. Waituhsouhwait — what is going on here? Oh yes. Drew Goddard is officially helming the Daredevil series for Netflix, and this is a small win for everyone. Except for the Kingpin. That fat fuck totally, like, laments any success that Murdock has.

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‘DAREDEVIL’ NETFLIX SERIES to be penned by ‘CABIN IN THE WOODS’ WRITER Drew Goddard.

Daredevil.

Well fuck me sideways! On a rooftop! In a Daredevil costume. This is rad as fuck. The mind behind (well, one of the minds) Cabin in the Woods is going to be helming the Daredevil series for Netflix.

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‘CABIN IN THE WOODS’ getting recreated at UNIVERSAL ORLANDO.

Cabin in the Woods.

Fuck yeah! Karate chop a spinal cord out of excitement. Cabin in the Woods is getting itself a glorious recreation at Universal Orlando. I can’t tell you how happy I am that this flick has broken through the jaded crust of our pop culture consciousness during the course of the last year. I mean — I knew it was spreading among people. But a fucking installation at a theme park?

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THE GANG OMEGA’S PICKS OF 2012: Rendar Frankenstein’s Rumination Frenzy!!

It’s with a tearful eye and a hyper-extended thumbs-up that I bid farewell to 2012.

The last twelve months have been some of the finest of my entire life. And I’m not exaggerating. Unlike those saccharine slobs who always clamor about the present hour being their finest and the preceding moments nothing more than the bliss-steps to their existence plateaus, I have no illusions about the fact that I’ve chalked up some miserable years. I’ve anguished through entire calendars, burnin’ `em up with fuel of the most incendiary sort.

Self-doubt! Resentment! Apathy! Vitriol! Cynicism! Sally forth towards the mire!

But 2012 was a whole different beast. Sure, there definitely some moments when my nostrils were assailed by the wispy vapors of the aforementioned propellants. But repugnance was ultimately cast aside, overpowered by the surfeit of wonder! It’s almost as though entertainment and art and love formed a giant sword-wieldin’, monster-destroyin’ mech, and I got to pilot the son-of-a-bitch!

If only!

Anyways, it looks as though every crew member of Spaceship OL is delivering their year-end highlights, so I’m going to join the party. But since I’ve garnered a reputation as being the erratic, currently-undiagnosed-but-we’re-working-on-it, hack-writin’ resident of the crew, I’m going to switch things up a bit. Each of my highlights will be paired with an Ultra-Dimensional Portal! By clicking on any UDP, a hole will be punched in space-time, and your consciousness will be projected astrally.

Got it? Okay, here’s one last look at 2012!

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CABIN IN THE WOODS Is a Blast, But Won’t Change Your Life

[Caff Note: With CiTW  dropping this weekend, there’s bound to be spoilers discussion in the comments. I warned you, fools!]

You don’t need to be a fan of Joss Whedon – or, a Whedonite as his diehards are terribly named – to know that his output is wildly smart. The man knows how to play with genre tropes without rubbing how clever he is in our face. Nevertheless, after hearing repeatedly about how innovative The Cabin in the Woods is, I was afraid that it was going to be overly self-conscious like the Scream series and be a massive wink and nudge at how clever Whedon and director Drew Goddard are. Thankfully that’s not the case and Cabin manages to be immensely entertaining without any third act twists. From the first frame Whedon and Goddard slowly feed us information so by the end, you don’t feel duped by a left field twist.

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