#July2020

Now you can play ‘Doom’ inside ‘Minecraft’ on a bootable Windows 95 computer. Jesus Fuck, you brilliant bastards

minecraft windows 95 doom

The quest to play Doom on everything continues, motherfuckers. As well, the quest to create everything in Minecraft also sallies forth. At the same time! You see, now you can play Doom on a Windows 95 computer in Minecraft. Like, what.

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Dude creates computer that only runs ‘Doom’ because ripping-and-tearing must be universal!

doom computer chip

Doom has been pretty much ported to everything at this point. No, really. Like ATMs, and McDonald’s kiosks and shit. The latest Doom iteration? A computer chip that only plays the title.

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‘DOOM Eternal’ had best launch in franchise history. Rip and fucking tear the sales charts!

doom eternal best launch franchise history

DOOM Eternal is equal parts fun and frustrating for me. I think I may be too old for its twitchiness, but I think I’m just dealing with a steep fucking learning curve. That said, I’m glad that it had the best launch in franchise history. Such brutality and unapologetic heavy metal thunder needs to be rewarded.

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Dude gets ‘Doom’ running on a McDonald’s cash register. Future is wild.

doom mcdonalds cash register

People want to put the original Doom on everything. Doom on an ATM. Doom on a printer. The latest? Doom on a fucking McDonald’s cash register.

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‘Doom Eternal’ Trailers: Prepare to rip and tear Heaven and Hell on November 22, 2019!

Catching-up on posting the shit I dug from E3, and this is a big one. Doom Eternal is dropping on November 22 of this year, fellow Doom Slayers. Right before the Holiday season kicks the fuck off. And nothing screams “entertaining your mother-in-law on Thanksgiving” like playing a Doom game at three-thousand decibels after throwing the turkey off the wall in supplication to your Doom masters. Right?

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Watch: If Alex Jones did voiceover work for ‘Doom’ is the best thing you’ll watch today. I fucking promise.

John Romero auctioned off his ‘Doom 2’ floppies for over $3,000

john romero doom 2 floppies

Rip and tear your bank account, amirite? Still though, would be fun to own these fucking cultural artifacts. If you count simple floppies owned by a game’s creator as cultural artifacts. (I think I do?)

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Watch: ‘Doom’ Running On A MacBook Pro’s TouchBar

Monday Morning Commute: We’re all riding shotgun with Entropy

we're here until we're not

We’re all riding shotgun with Entropy.

That’s the long of it, the short of it. Celebrated the Fourth of July twice this weekend. Once at a friend’s apartment, who I consider to be family. Once at my family’s house, who I consider to be friends.

Me, my friends, my family?

We’re all riding shotgun with entropy.

The Universe wasn’t paying much attention to our celebrations. Too busy housing Everything. Too busy searching for that sweet, sugary Heat Death at the end of it all. Expanding endlessly until it won’t.

Me, my friends, my family, the Universe?

We’re all riding shotgun with entropy.

The wife I married, the dog I love, the friends I cherish, the family I belong to, the Universe that carries me.

We’re all here until we’re not.

We’re all riding shotgun with entropy.

I don’t know what to make of this, other than to appreciate my wife, walk my dog, hang out with my friends, and stare lovingly at the stars when the nights permit. This isn’t profundity and it isn’t resignation.

It’s a shrug and a smile in the face of the Absurd. What else can I do?

We’re all riding shotgun with entropy.

This is Monday Morning Commute. The column where I slather onto this particular digispace all the items, all the miscellany, all the bullshit that I’m interfacing with on a given week. You know, when I’m not staring into the raging chasm of Void and Stars, condemning the tragic mistake that is self-awareness, while simultaneously praising the Cosmic Joke for stumbling into giving us clowns self-awareness.

It is my optimistic encouragement that you’ll share what you’re up to this week in the comments section.

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Weekend Open Bar: Arcade Summer

weekend open bar | arcade summer

Welcome, friends. To the Extended Weekend Open Bar! Carrying us through the Fourth of July. For those of you lucky enough to have a long weekend, salutations! For those of you unlucky enough to have to work either this Weekend, or the Fourth, salutations anyways! I imagine there’s going to be some seared-flesh breath being aspirated at the computer screens and black mirrors as you folks hopefully join the Bar. Contributing to the camaraderie on the Space-Ship omega whenever you take a break from doing your duty of celebrating God’s Finest Creation, America. By consuming animals, hops, and igniting conversations at cookouts and fire-based sky sparkles.

If you don’t know, the Weekend Open Bar is your virtual one-stop for shooting the shit during the weekend. As Head Czar of the Space-Ship, I encourage one and all to share what they’re up to. Share the animal-flesh you’re going to sear in supplication to George Washington. Share the movie you’re going to see, doing your American best to prop up our economy. Share what you’re reading at the beach. Whatever you’re doing, join in.

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