#August2014

‘Batman v. Superman’ moves release date, blinks in ‘Captain America’ stare down

Dawn of Justice

It was only a matter of time before either Captain America 3 or Batman v. Superman changed their release date. The two movies had been locked in a stare down, both laying claim to the same release date in May of 2016. The one who flinched? Batman v Superman: Frowny Time – Justice People. Which I suppose isn’t surprising, given that Marvel’s Cinematic Juggernaut continues to smash expectations and consume our pop culture.

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Rumor: ‘ANT-MAN’ Villain Revealed. (No, it’s not Kevin Feige.)

Kevin Feige

GET IT?! Cause Feige is the dude who is maybe-probably-purportedly responsible for ordering the Thousand Cuts of Death script tweak that sent Edgar Wright walking from Ant-Man. Ahhh, fuck me. Anyways. Here’s the villain of the movie. Maybe.

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Rumor: ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 3’ delayed until 2017 #WHATEVS

Amazing Spider-Person.

I may have been a bit hyperbolic when I said that Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the worst superhero movie since Batman & Robin. But man, I sure didn’t fucking like it. Loved the cast, deplored everything else. I’m not alone. The franchise has made consistently less and less money with every iteration. So if Sony wants to delay Amazing Spider-Man 3 in order to spiff it up, go for it. If they want to delay it because they’re secretly WORKING WITH MARVEL STUDIOS TO INTEGRATE SPIDER-MAN INTO AVENGERS 3, all the better!

I have absolutely no reason to believe that’s going to happen. Other than this pair of messed-underwear I’ve been wearing like a Wolverine mask all day whispering me sweet words with its diarrhea vapors.

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WB’s DC COMICS FILM SCHEDULE LEAKS: ‘JLA’ in 2017 & Moar!

OH GOLLY NO

Oh fuck! Oh me! Oh my! Warner Brothers’s purported DC Comics Film schedule has leaked! (If you believe it, but I do.) To whatever jabroni leaked it, watch it. Bro Dude Dick Heads Goyer and Snyder are liable to send Superman after your ass. And as we’ve seen in Man of Steel, he’s angry as fuck and ready to snap necks.

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‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY’ Posters: Star-Lord & Drax Are Totes Buddies

them two

EHHHH, I don’t know. I’m running out of fucking ways to describe these Guardians of the Galaxy character posters. The two final posters completing the set have been dropped, and they’re starring Andy Dwyer and some Wrestler Guy. Get some! In your soul!

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‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ Poster: Gamora ain’t afraid of you

Gamora!

New Guardians of the Galaxy character poster time! This latest one features Gamora, with a grin that says she’d sooner fucking kill you than tolerate your bullshit. I can dig it. Hit the jump for the full thing.

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JOSH BROLIN is THANOS in ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’

Thanos.

Josh Brolin is Thanos? I can dig it! But that isn’t saying much. I dig Josh Brolin on The General, so him participating in the MCU is enough to get my back arching in fanboy glands-swelling ecstasy.

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Potential ‘ANT-MAN’ directors: ADAM MCKAY, RAWSON THURBER, RUBEN FLEISCHER

 

Ant-Man.

A shortlist of the directors that could replace Edgar Wright on Ant-Man has been revealed. And while there’s no replacing Wright, and it seems awkward that someone is going to be helming his brain baby, there are certainly worse directors than the ones revealed. (Better ones too, okay, granted.)

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EDGAR WRIGHT has LEFT ‘ANT-MAN’ over creative differences

Ant-Man.

The MCU was going way too smoothly, right? This was bound to happen. Eventually. Shame that this announcement MAKES MY ASSHOLE QUIVER WITH SADNESS. One of the most anticipated flicks in the MCU with one of my favorite directors has now found that relationship sundered.

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‘BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE’ is official title of ‘MAN OF STEEL 2’

Dawn.

Get it! ‘Cause they’re cramming every single fucking character from the DCU into this movie for some unexplainable reason? It’s the dawn! Of Justice! League! Wait. No, no, no. It ain’t the Justice League flick. Wink. But I mean…if they’re rushing everything so much, why not just acknowledge it and title the movie fittingly. Justice League: Everybody In The Kiddie Pool Except Superman and Batman Because They’re Too *Sad* To Change Into Their Trunks. I like my title.

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