The plot for Mass Effect 3 leaked today. Maybe. Probably. There’s a good chance it’s legit. It comes from the listing of Mass Effect 3 on the EA online store. Want to hear it? Well, it’s why you’re here, isn’t it?

Earth is burning. Striking from beyond known space, a race of terrifying machines have begun their destruction of the human race. As Commander Shepard, an Alliance Marine, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of the galaxy and launch one final mission to take back the Earth

Fucking rad. It’s about time that they finally let us motherfucking cosmos-hoppers return to where we all began. It makes sense to pin the final chapter of the first Mass Effect trilogy squarely to the one, most important planet they haven’t let us see yet.

I need this game. I need it now.

Via.

A good friend of mine has pointed me towards two stories this week. First the Arkham City reveal, and now this one. Kudos, cheers, and may someone kindly rub your genitals. Remember the BioWare teaser we were all speculating about? First it was reported that it was an off-shoot Mass Effect game. Now it’s been “confirmed” by nebulous dark sources that it’s actually Mass Effect 3 with multiplayer.

1up:

So just what exactly has BioWare been teasing to reveal at the Spike TV VGAs for the last couple of weeks? Would you believe it is, after all, Mass Effect 3? Joystiq reports that a “trusted source” has informed them the mystery game, first teased with the single image above, will indeed be the final chapter in the Mass Effect trilogy.

What’s more, this source says Mass Effect 3 will feature some kind of multiplayer mode, a first for the series. What this source couldn’t confirm, though, is whether the VGA reveal will highlight the multiplayer or not.

Thoughts? Reactions? I couldn’t give less of a shit about a multiplayer aspect for the Mass Effect franchise. Completely understand why it makes sense from a business standpoint. But still, don’t give a shit. Hit the comments box with your take.

Remember your gender roles, kids! Women are busy being spread-eagle, and sexualized. Men? We walk through fucking fire! That’s what this fan art by Protsenko Pavel teaches us. Just about affirms every gender role we’re used to. The saddest part? I still enjoy it. I am an unprincipled man, full of bullshit.

The artwork itself is sexy.

Hit the jump for space-babes, and totally tough alien dudes.

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So, there was the announcement of a teaser for BioWare’s next big game at the Spike VGA. Then there was a teaser trailer for the teaser trailer released. And now? Now some rumor mongering may have officially just blown the entire thing wide the fuck open. Words are that the next big game by BioWare may be a Mass Effect spin-off in the vein of Call of Duty.

Kotaku:

The BioWare project teased earlier today by Spike TV’s Video Game Awards is not an early look at Mass Effect 3, according to a development source, but the multiplayer-focused Mass Effect spin-off currently in the works at BioWare Montreal. That Mass Effect game is not a massively multiplayer online version of BioWare’s sci-fi RPG series, but a game that’s designed to appeal more to the Call of Duty market, according to that source.

We’re told to expect player progression in the vein of Activision’s wildly popular online shooter along with some sort of single-player component that does not feature Mass Effect’s Commander Shepard in a leading role.

I’m torn. Any sort of Mass Effect is good Mass Effect in my book. In addition, I love me some Call of Duty. Combine that with the financial sense it makes to go this direction in a spin-off, and I guess I can’t complain.

But! Ha, I got you, there’s a but!

I don’t know man. I guess if there were other Mass Effect games, I’d prefer them to be closer to the feel of the series. I mean, I’m a fucking whore for BioWare, and the franchise, so I know I’ll pick it up no matter what. But I feel a reluctance at seeing them deviate too far from the space-faring epic that I love so much.

Who knows.

Maybe it’s the most ballin’, illin’ shit ever. Maybe it’s not even true.

Thoughts? Impressions? Sage-like advice? Hit the comments box.

BioWare is going to be revealing their “next big game” at this year’s Spike VGA. However, it appears that teasing a teaser is the new black. You don’t just release a trailer anymore, no fucking sir. First, you have to release a teaser trailer for the teaser trailer. It happened with the Green Lantern trailer last week, and it’s happening now for this BioWare game.

Impressions? It isn’t Mass Effect 3, and that makes me sad. Sure, I lap up anything from BioWare like the pathetic lapdog I am. So whatever this new title is, if I’m correct in guessing it isn’t ME3, is going to be intergalactic stellar-time. Or maybe not intergalactic at all.

Hit the jump for the teaser trailer for the teaser trailer. Then hit the comments box with your thoughts on what it could be. Speculation? It’s fun.

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Good god damn. I need me some Dragon Age II. Like, really bad. I’m almost done with the original. Would have been done, if not for something called the Mojave Wasteland. And I love the game, a lot. But everything I’ve seen regarding the sequel screams one thing: this game is like the original, but better in every fucking way. That, my friends, is a great thing. The most prominent improvement for me is the introduction of a Shepard-esque protagonist. I need my main character to do something as crazy as speak and have a serious role in the plot.

On top of better graphics, seemingly better direction, and everything else? My loins swell with glee. Hit the jump for the newest trailer, “Rise To Power.”

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Somehow a fucking BioWare RPG escaped my notice last year. Or rather, I saw it, and I thought to myself “I can live without playing it.” Even I cannot explain my train of thought sometimes. Well, I fucking got into it lately, and I’ve come to a simple conclusion: my perceived apathy towards it was actually an internal survival mechanism. For after borrowing it from The Dude, I have begun playing it, and the hours have begun to melt away. One hour, two hour, three hours, and I’m sitting in a caffeinated trance, stabbing darkspawn like the baddest motherfucker ever.

It takes a lot to get me to sit down for more than an hour with a video game anymore. Even games that I dig usually have me playing with something resembling restraint. However, not Dragon Age. It’s like Lord of the Rings-themed crack. Straight up the nerd pipe.

I fucking dreamt about it last night. That shit used to be reserved for Diablo II and World of Warcraft. The sound of spells rocketing through my slumber.

Fucking Dragon Age. You gorgeous son of a bitch.

Confession time! Despite loving BioWare and everything they produce, I haven’t played Dragon Age: Origins. I know, I fucking fail. So hard, that it makes comprehension of said failure almost impossible to grasp. That said, the recently released Director’s Cut trailer for Dragon Age II has me losing my god damn mind.

It’s got almost everything that gives me a boner in life: a bad-ass dude with a ridiculously large weapon, power metal cords, and slow-motion combat. It’s god damn amazing. I was planning on conquering Dragon Age: Origins prior to the sequel dropping, and now I’m really fighting the urge to throw aside my backlog and play the son of a bitch.

I’m losing my cool with fervor, yo! Do need.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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I’ll always have a thing for Yeoman Chambers. Primarily since she is the classic interstellar babe that I cannot get with. Alas. That’s like, you know, every chick on the planet. Or galaxy. Particularly ones that aren’t real. But Miranda Lawson from Mass Effect 2 was a cutie as well, and these cosplay pictures of her are certain both impressive and sexy. Sexily impressive. Impressively sexy.

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Well, snap! I figured that when EA gobbled up BioWare, they’d be porting a cash cow like the Mass Effect series onto multiple consoles. But! But then Mass Effect 2 came and went on the 360 and nothin’ happened. Well, such sentiments were portentous, just took a bit longer than I expected. January, 2011, Mass Effect 2 comes to the fuggin’ Playstation 3.

Kotaku:

During the EA press conference at GamesCom in Cologne, Germany, BioWare’s Dr. Ray revealed that the second game in the Mass Effect series would hit the PlayStation 3 in January.

Is there anything else to say? It’s Mass Effect, and it’s coming to the PlayStation 3. Let’s hear us some cheers, PlayStation 3 owners!

UPDATE: The official press release for the PS3 edition includes the line: “The PlayStation 3 edition will include the full Mass Effect 2 game and hours of bonus content.” We’ve asked an EA spokesperson for clarification about whether that refers to new gameplay sequences or what.

Good news for all my scrub friends who only own a PS3. However, this shit could be bad fucking news for my wallet, if the PS3-port comes with anything resembling new content. Son of a fucking bitch! If there’s even a single new scenario, my fanboy ass is going to have to double-dip. Which means, they know that there are people like me out there, and it will in fact include marginal new content to rope me in.

Fuck. Hit the jump for the Playstation 3 teaser.

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