Eddie Pluto kicked off 2013 by bringing this dollop of shit to my attention. I could hear his raspy cackle in my mind as I read through the news, all the while knowing my rage would feed his blackened heart. Fuck. You know, there was a point where I was really excited for the film adaptation of The Great Gatsby. Then there was the period of Hulkian rage when I was exposed to the horrendous trailer. Now? Now I’m just going to buckle-up and try and enjoy the nightmare.

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Baz Luhrmann is trying to raise money for Gatsby reshoots. Dear lord, I’ve never wished someone so ill in their attempt to better their money.

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Here’s a minor miracle in the Case of Caffeine Powered vs. The Shit Stain Rendition of The Great Gatsby. The dirty little diaper of over-shined nonsense that Luhrmann was planning on dropping out this Christmas has gotten pushed back into next summer.  Just enough time to unleash a micro-toxin that only erodes overwrought Baz Luhrmann nonsense. Better sent those copies of Moulin Rogue to your secret base on Mars, folks. My victory is ascending.

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I was pretty certain the overwrought gaudy nonsense of  Baz Luhrmann was going to miss the mark with an adaptation of The Great Gatsby, and this sleek bullshit disaster trailer has done nothing to dissuade me of this notion. I hate this trailer a million times over.

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I love The Great Gatsby more than I love Watchmen, and the trainwreck that was that adaptation devastated me. This is only going to crush me worse. Not only does Baz Luhrmann suck, but he just upped his fucking blowitude to the next level. He’s filming The Great Gatsby in 3D.

Fuck.
Fucking.
Fucking shit.

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