#November2020
Unusual asteroid Psyche said to worth $10,000 quadrillion. Gimme a fucking bite!
Motherfucker, the asteroid Psyche is worth a pretty penny. Specifically? $10,000 quadrillion. Like, legitimately. Let me just bite into that pig, spit out whatever I get, and flip it for some cash. The PS5’s headset ain’t gonna pay for itself, and the asteroid can spare it.
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NASA spacecraft has found evidence of ancient rivers on the asteroid Bennu. Holy shit, right?
A NASA spacecraft has found evidence of ancient rivers. On an asteroid. Specifically, Bennu. And like, holy shit. Right?
Asteroid Bennu is exploding rocks out into space and astronomers don’t know why. The Cosmos continues to confound!
Asteroid Bennu more active than a motherfucker. Astronomers have spotted the asteroid exploding rockers out into space, and they’re stumped. Goddamn, the Cosmos is so damn interesting.
ESO has found what COULD be the smallest dwarf planet in our solar system! Hygiea, baby!
Hygiea was an asteroid! However, it may actually be the smallest dwarf planet in the solar system! The finding comes courtesy of the European Southern Observatory.
NASA Launching Spacecraft In 2020s To Study Jupiter’s Asteroids And Another Made Of Metal
NASA is aiming to do some dope shit in the 2020s. Expecting to launch spacecraft to study Jupiter’s asteroids, and also another one made of metal. Sounds dope! I’m, uh, just not optimistic about us/them making it until then.
UN got itself an ASTEROID-MONITORING GROUP ready to THWART SPACE ROCKS
Hey, yo. Yo, hey! You can doubt the efficacy of the United Nations, but at least they’re fucking trying. The Nations United have formed an asteroid-monitoring group that is ready to seriously fucking laserize (I made both the method and word up) any errant space rocks. Sorry you hunks of shit, you’re not going to doom us. Well uh, not without a good try.
The April Fools Day Asteroid Came Closer Than F**king Expected
Did you know about the April Fools Day asteroid? I sure as fuck didn’t. I didn’t know about it when it was considered no big fucking deal, and I doubly didn’t know about it yesterday when it passed far closer than anticipated.
