Of course Arnold is doing Terminator 5. What the fuck else is the guy going to do? The Last Stand bombed. He doesn’t have a state to govern. His only claim to relevancy is a franchise that was awesome 22 years ago, and is nothing more than a relic to most of the kinds graduating high school. Arnold needs Terminator 5.
Step right up, folks! This is the end of 2012!
What an adventurous year it’s been. There’ve been thrills and chills, screams and dreams, and hoots to boot! In case you missed any of the excitement, the OL Squadron has been doing flybys of all of the year’s highlights. And if you haven’t taken the time to personally enjoy 2012, well, you’ve got one last crack at it. New Year’s Eve, the night of champagne sparkles and ethanol-gropings and cocktail shrimp catastrophes.
It’s the stuff of beauty.
Anyways, today is also Monday, and as such I present the Monday Morning Commute! During regularly-scheduled programming, this is the spot where I show you various ways I’ll be enjoying myself over the course of the week. However, with today being New Year’s, I’m going to run you through some of the bits of entertainment I’ll be chomping on in celebration of 2013’s arrival. If you’re really rowdy enough, hit up the comments section and show the OL faithful what you’ll be using for party lubricant.
C’mon, you pack of auld lang sinners!
I don’t think I can enjoy anything with Arnold in it, ever since I saw his balls that one day at the beach. Big, ripped, furious veins all over his scrotum, swirling like runes that foretold the fall of man. Plus, even if I could, it certainly wouldn’t be this movie.
Speaking of moobs, Arnie is returning to the Conan franchise. ‘Cause nothing is as imposing as a flabby old bastard running around all jacked up on the HGH I assume he is going to take to get into shape for the flick. Let the sleeping does lay. I beg you.
I really wanted to hate this trailer with all my guts. I couldn’t.
They stare deeply into one another’s eyes, both realizing that the power the other exhibits is not synonymous with their own, though still to be appreciated.
The Schwarzenegger and DeVito jam Twins is a warm fuzzy memory from my childhood. Like almost all the other films from my childhood that were fuzzy memories, Hollywood now seems intent on plopping a dollop of feces right upon it.
The Arnold. Through the years, when he hasn’t been busy doing cocaine off of hooker’s asses, running a state, pumping himself full of steroids, or rubbing dongs with fellow bodybuilders, he’s filmed some movies. Cut some DVD commentaries. The one for Total Recall in particular is blowing up the internet, and with good reason. It’s fucking surreal.
I wasn’t certain how I felt about the possibility of a new Terminator sequel until now. I had hemmed and hawed. Equivocated. Now I know. For when I saw news that Justin Lin met with Arnold and James Cameron regarding a new Terminator flick I was all fuck yeah!
Say what you will about his latest exploits, but I believe that the good Arnold Schwarzenegger has done for the world far outweighs the bad. First, he pushed the limits of the human physique (albeit with steroids), proving that science can even be used to improve the doughy mounds of flesh that we call our bodies. Then Arnie took it upon himself to redefine action movies. Hell, just think of all the great Schwarzenegger flicks – The Terminator, Predator, Total Recall, Conan the Barbarian, Kindergarten Cop, True Lies, and so many more.