Cosplay: REAL SHEPARD and SAMARA dominate Dragon*Con
Outrageous! Mark Meer (voice of Shepard) and Rana McAnear (the model for Samara) graced Dragon*Con with their utter awesomeness. Let’s ignore for a moment that the real Shepard is obviously female and just bask in this quality execution. Slow-clap aboard the Normandy, ignoring the fucking ending.
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Stars SCREAM while being eaten by BLACK HOLES. Cold motherf**kers.
Black holes. I already knew they were bad ass. Turns out, they’re the coldest of motherfuckers. Not only do they gobble up stars, but whilst they do so the stars are all “Jesus Christ, stop, stop!” screaming with little dignity and no resignation.
‘THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY’ gets 20 new images. Including Legolas’ dad.
Here’s a truckload of new pictures from The Hobbit: Bloated Subtitles. Nothing really tremendous in them for me, but I’m not particularly excited about the whole endeavor at this point.
‘BLACK OPS 2’ already leaked, already modded. Well, that’s timely as shit.
Goddamn! Black Ops 2: Bro Dudes Requiem hasn’t even come close to street date yet, and there is already some homie modding a leaked version of it. Hats off to the dude who is assuredly on the run from a legion of Activision cereberus-ninja hybrids.
CANDY CORN-FLAVORED OREOS are real. ‘Cause our obesity is freedom.
Fuck yes! If we can have bacon-flavored ice cream, I see no good reason we can’t have candy corn-flavored Oreos. This is America, god dammit! Where if we don’t have XXXL t-shirts, the terrorists have clearly won. Don’t eat these to appease your fat ass. Eat these for freedom.
‘STAR TREK 2’ has an official title. Oh golly!
Do you know what is for fucking squares these days? Numerical designations for sequels. Naw man. Need clever titles. Star Trek 2 is riding that wave, and I imagine everyone involved is very pleased with the title they’ve come up with. Them being Abrams, Lindelof, and all those goons whose self-adulation is so thick you can almost use it to ride cosmic waves.
Jeffrey Wright is totally playing Beetee in ‘THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE’
Jeffrey Wright is a great actor, and now he is going to get to show off his chops to a lot more people. Duder who is best known for hanging around with Danny Craig in the Bond Flicks has been cast in a rather essential role in Catching Fire.
SUPERMAN fans are campaigning to get Kansas city renamed Smallville. Solidarity.
I can’t imagine being as passionate as these people. They’re like, totally, totally, totally itching to get a Kansas city renamed Smallville. Superman is fake, yo. I dig him too, but I have better (okay, not much better) things to do than start a campaign. Although, if it could boost the economy of the town for the people…okay. Godspeed.
Astronauts fix the space station with a TOOTHBRUSH. Yeah, science! Or something.
Sometimes you just need to rock a toothbrush. Lost your sex toy? Toothbrush. Smelly teeth? Toothbrush. Need to fix a space station? Toothbrush.
Press Start: Haggar n’ Humanity
Hey guy, like the video games? The bleep-de-bloops? The whizz-pop and the shazmatt? Does it even matter? I mean, really, in this day and age; what with microchips and the constant ebb of information, who cares what you’re actually reading about? Words, man. They’re just words and so, here’s roughly 915 of the buggers.
