Rumor: Jimmy Olsen is a woman in ‘MAN OF STEEL.’ Heck yeah.
If this rumor is true, it is going to be powerful enough to shatter the scrotum of women-fearing fanboys. There is a good chance that there ain’t no Jimmy Olsen in Man of Steel, with the movie opting to go for a female equivalent. Jenny. Here is hoping. Man of Steel doesn’t seem to give a fuck about diddling the Kal-El conventions, and I find it more intriguing due to that. An African-American Perry? Word. A red headed Lois Lane? Double word. A female Jimmy Olsen? Triple-combo-something? (I didn’t know where I was going with that.)
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Firefighers take smart-pills that report back data about their health. Future++
Welcome to the future!, where we monitor our firefighters through the tiny computers we make them swallow before gallantly advancing upon burning structures. Awesome.
Drew Struzan has been asked to design posters for new ‘STAR WARS’ movies. Dude, say yes.
If you don’t know Drew Struzan, get out! Take your candy, and get out. You already took it out of the jar. And frankly, your ignorant sweat glands have already poisoned the hard, delicious, swollen treats. If you do know Drew Struzan, here is some news to get excited about. Potentially.
Monday Morning Commute: Coping Mechanisms and Caffeine Kicks
…and a good day to you too, folks. For those of you here in the Empire, I hope your long weekend was rather enjoyable. Me? Oh, I had myself a blast. Took one off the chin in the world of sporting events (hint), but what the fuck can you do. This weekend also saw the frozen ice guys back on the prowl, with Rendar and myself enjoying a jaunt to the ice chest today ourselves. Local team won, we ate something like ninety-three hot dogs. By the end of the day I was able to smile again, thanks to a little salve on the nips. This is Monday Morning Commute, a column which a list of coping mechanisms we use to get ourselves through the doldrums. Coping mechanisms (video games) for when coping mechanisms (sports teams) fail. System redundancies.
Rumor: These are the NEXT XBOX specs. Maybe. Hell if I know.
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
Kojima didn’t want RAIDEN’S SILLY ASS for ‘Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance’
Hand it to Kojima. Usually all he wants to do is vomit up nonsensical philosophical cut scenes, and continuing building games where Jesus Christ-Am-I-Crouching-Or-Am-I-Crawling moments occur. However, in the making of Metal Gear Arrogance: Silly Titles Slash time, the good sir had a great fucking idea. To not put Raiden in that title.
French ISP ‘ORANGE’ charging Google to send traffic over its network.
Ain’t this a bitch! That French ISP is charging Google to send traffic over its network. Ain’t that a tart blast of citrus to the eyes? Oh man. I don’t know. I really wanted to work in some sort of metaphor there, after promising myself I wouldn’t run on some socialism schtick. Eh. Whatever. Read the fucking post. If you want.
Friday Brew Review: Raspberry Russian Imperial Stout `12
There’s a pain in your stomach that can only be cured with Russian magic.
Go ahead, clench the side of your abdomen. C’mon, admit it already! Y’know that you feel an inflammation somewhere in your gut! In the darkest recesses of your tummy! Maybe it feels like a itch at the bottom of your cecum. Or maybe it throbs like a patch of warts in your large intestine. Hell, some of you might even have a burning in the colon, and you’d damn well better pray that it doesn’t keep runnin’ down your digestive tract.
The truth is that you’re afflicted with a goddamn existential bezoar.
Fortunately, the Russians have been attacking these motherfuckers for years. Although Rasputin’s mystical sojourns are well-documented, it’s not often mentioned that he was simply trying to remedy the bezoar ailing Russia’s collective unconscious. Later, during the dark days of the Soviet Empire, the mystic arts would be forfeited in favor of science. But even with the root of these explorations being the same desire to destroy all that ailed, these efforts would also fall short. As such, Mother Russia, proud and noble and willing to die trying, would forge ahead in search of a new solution. And it would be found.
The solution? Beer.
To be precise, tonight’s curative elixir is Raspberry Russian Imperial Stout `12.
Cosplay: ‘STAR WARS’ gets real. Really real.
Two cosplay posts in one day. What are you going to do about it? I run this show! (Don’t hit me Rendar, don’t hit me.) Look at this wonderful Star Wars cosplay. Look at it! Drink it in.
Sony is selling their U.S. headquarters for $1.1 billion. I’ll take it!
Sony is selling their Hive Mind Headquarters, located right here in the heart of the Empire. They’re not just selling it though, oh no. They are slapping a fatty price tag of $1.1 billion upside its head. IDGAF. Let’s buy that thing, line it with soundproof materials, and like. I don’t know. Fart all day, while we play Super Adventure Island or something. Dream with me.
