Source: Boing Boing

No less than three-thousand people have pointed this out to me, and that can only mean one thing: in internet years, it’s a million-billion years old. Whatever, it’s still amazing.

This footage is from a bank in Long Island, and if I was getting robbed there, I hope I would have the respect to clap, if not at the least stand at attention and await my Force choking.

I have to admit that he didn’t use a more elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. Lord Vader, if you get caught, it’s on yourself for using such a clumsy and random weapon. You douche.

I love Grant Morrison a god damn lot. He might be my favorite comic book writer, I’m not sure. Every time I try and say that, my subconscious projection of Warren Ellis rises up, and they get into an arm wrestling match. They eventually hug, and never deciding the debate, go to the pub for a drink.

Nonetheless, the fact that Grant Morrison is writing a movie is probably the best news I’ve heard coming out of San Diego Comic Con. The premise? Amazing.

Bleeding Cool:

Sinatoro, a man with no past and no memories; the sole survivor of a car crash in the middle of a desolate American desert road. When he encounters the beautiful daughter of a cult leader, she convinces him to help defeat the forces of evil, which have overrun her town. His journey pits him against the world’s most dangerous gangster and allies him with a deranged astronaut, a drunken cowboy, and an army of hobos. As Sinatoro travels through an American landscape made of pop culture nightmares, he struggles to understand who he is and why everyone is out to get him.

I need this movie. Yesterday.

I love me some Thor. Who the fuck doesn’t? Sexy jacked dude with a giant (phallus) hammer named Mjolnir. I also love me some Jonathan Hickman. Hickman, who is currently making the Fantastic Four both cool and brilliant, and whose S.H.I.L.E.D somehow features Galactus, a resurrected Leonardo Da Vinci, and insight into the power of ideas in sculpting humankind, is fucking brilliant.

This October? We’re getting Jonathan Hickman writing Ultimate Thor. Fuck to the yes.

Comics Alliance:

“It’s patented Hickman madness,” said editor Mark Paniccia. “Nazis. Frost giants. World World II planes crashing into Asgard. It’s going to be amazing.”

A Thor arc involving Nazis and fucking frost giants? We’re not worthy, but god dammit I’ll take it.

Hit the jump for some sexy concept art.

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According to the rumor I just started, the Miami Heat have acquired the most amazing free agent in the history of professional sports.

Source: Retro Star Wars

In time for the Tron Legacy panel at San Diego Comic Con, this new trailer for the movie dropped. And then I dropped my pants. Rimshot! Groans! Guilty muted applause. If this movie is even half as cool as it seems, I’ll be satisfied. At the most basic level, the visuals alone are enough to cajole my nerd loins in a titillated slushy mess.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer and visually imbibe nerdporn.

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[pixelation | weekly gaming & life column every wednesday or uh thursday]

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I picked up and played through the XBLA game Limbo yesterday. I had heard so much god damn fawning about it, watched a video about it and deemed it dope, and had tons of expectations. I paid way too much, stared at the download bar, and booted the son of a bitch up.

I was bored within moments.

Aesthetically, the game was everything you want in some indie game to fawn over. Dark and brooding? Word. Lack of UI which is totally innovated (except not really)? Word. Simplistic visuals? Word. It was a paint by numbers indie game. And everyone seemed to love it. But me.

What the fuck was going on?

It was during my aggravation at having to push around blocks and listening to the (not really) beautiful swirling ambient music that I had a moment of clarity. A thunderous strike of denouement. I play games like a fucking buzzsaw. Perhaps Limbo is generic and boring (I think it is), but more than likely it couldn’t have been further from my preferred type of game. As a caffeinated mess, I twitch whilst holding the controller. I run into everything. I want to smash through walls and rip people apart.

I said, “Perhaps this isn’t your type of game!”

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The original Mortal Kombat fatalities goes papercraft in this Youtube video. I love the fact that these classic deaths are still firmly entrenched in the cultural consciousness of my generation, and talented people are finding new ways of representing these beautiful impressions of paper-bound mortality.

Hit the jump and watch some glorious paper deaths.

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BioWare has announced the next Mass Effect 2 DLC: Lair of the Shadow Broker, dropping uh, sometime. Apparently the DLC takes place in response to a bunch of hogwash bullshit that took place during Mass Effect 2 that we never saw. But was in a comic book.

Uh?

Isn’t like, some of this essential narrative information?

via kotaku:

After Shepard died in the beginning of Mass Effect 2, his blue-skinned friend Liara T’Soni fought a desperate battle to recover his body from the mysterious Shadow Broker. Now it’s time to settle the score.

Detailed in the Mass Effect 2 comic book series from Dark Horse, Liara went through hell to recover Commander Shepard’s remains from the mysterious information broker known as the Shadow Broker, delivering them to Cerberus, where our hero was eventually reconstituted.

Good god damn. I hate it when important plot points are used as selling points for various cross-merchandising. I would have liked to thank Miss Sexy Blue Skin for her efforts when I met her in one of my nineteen playthroughs of Mass Effect 2 for, you know, capturing my body and bringing it to get revived. Only fuggin’ Bioware didn’t let me know of this, because I didn’t read a comic.

Whatever.

In this DLC, you’ll be teaming up with Liara to storm the Shadow Broker and lay some whup down on his ass. Good. This douche has been a serious pain in Shepard’s ass since he double-crossed Tali back in the original. Let’s do this.